Being Silly

 


   Yesterday C and I went to watch a performance of a local high school band. The first part of the performance showed the band doing various fundamental marching band skills such as turning right and left, marching backwards and other moves. One of the things that caught my eye was a marching band member in a wheelchair who was pushed by another student according to commands.

   At one point in the program the director invited the band members to select someone from those watching to "teach" the skills they had just demonstrated.  C, after a bit of finger pointing with a set of parents, we know bounded onto the field. He had been summoned by a trombone player whose father is a friend of C. 

   Part of me was relieved. I was nervous I'd get chosen and my left-right confusion would be on full display. The other part of me was irritated that C was participating. We were there to watch, not participate and the trombone player should have had her mother with her. (Another student chose trombone player's mother) 

   This is part of an argument that C and I have had since we were first married. I am a firm believer in "adult manners". This means not engaging in child like or silly behaviour in public. It also means keeping a clear boundary between you and a child. I've long felt that a lot of trouble that children have stems partly from parents wanting to be "friends" with the child as opposed to being the parent or adult.

   C does not agree with this approach. He firmly believes it is fine to act silly unless there is a circumstance that requires seriousness. He also believes in meeting kids where they are. While I believe that silliness breeds disrespect, he sees it as no big deal.

   For nearly 17 years we have been waging an unsuccessful battle to win the other person over. I should say mostly unsuccessful. He has managed to get me to loosen up on occasion. I don't think I've had a similar effect on him.

   I must admit that part of me wishes that I could spontaneously silly. I have no idea what it would be like to not worry about being judged. What would it be like to do something crazy in public? (Not seriously crazy, though) Fun crazy. I'm not sure I'm even capable of this kind of behaviour.

   In the meantime, I could work a little harder at not getting upset at C. He has pointed out that no one has ever been offended and that most people we know find his manner endearing. I can't argue with him. maybe being silly isn't as bad as I think it is.

  

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