Sophie's Story

  As many of you know I tend to dread December for many reasons. Once of them is the church Christmas program. Every year C and I participate by doing some sort of musical number. Every year I muff my part.   Two years ago after screwing up "Angels We Have Heard on High" a duet C and I played on the guitar and harp, I decided that I was not going to play the harp in a Christmas program ever again. In fact I was not going to play the harp in public ever again. I was tired of being able to play just fine in practice and then being unable to play when my hands would decide to shake uncontrollably. I had had enough. I would play the hammered dulcimer instead. I would still have some trouble if my tremors got bad, but I would be able to hit more notes than I could with the harp.   Last year I played the dulcimer in the program. It didn't go perfectly, but it went better than the year before. (It couldn't possibly have gone worse.)   This year we were asked to play for

  My friend Dana was unable to come to my annual birthday lunch. She did send along a present with someone who was able to attend. It was a crochet hook, a tapestry needle and a book on how to crochet.   I wondered why she had done this. I was just getting into knitting. There were still so many things to learn. I hadn't even begun to scratch the surface.   I decided to open the book and at least try. It wouldn't hurt. I learned to chain and then advanced to other stitches. It was sort of fun. I was still partial to knitting though and spent most of my time doing that.   Then I brought up the subject of the granny square to Dana. "Those are easy," she said. "Let me show you." I didn't realize that I had started down a dangerous path. It wasn't hard, but was going to take time and concentration. As I worked on the granny square she taught me to crochet, my mind began to spin. I could make a lot of little granny square in all sorts of colours. I c

   December is always a rough month for me. I think it is a rough month for most of us who work in retail. People are extra crabby, extra in a hurry and extra impatient. We're busier and it seems like while everyone else is enjoying the season, I'm at work. No parties. No romantic walks in the falling snow, No fun.   There's also no time to do the things that are supposed to get done for the holidays. No time to decorate, no time to bake, no time to send cards. No time to shop for presents.   I'm also bombarded with emails and catalogs with deals on presents and warning me that I'd better get going on that list before time runs out. Some of these emails come from a church bookstore, which I find a bit funny. I would expect a bookstore run by a church to be a bit well...less commercial. I'm not fond of the commercial aspect of Christmas. It isn't about peace on earth good will toward all. It's about who can get the best present at the cheapest price.

   President Campbell and Susan, his wife, gave a presentation to a group of young single adults last Sunday. He had told me about this ahead time. I felt a little envious of his audience. I would have liked to have been there for the presentation. Both of them are very good when it comes to speaking and teaching. The next day I asked him how it went. He gave his thoughts and a copy of the notes that he and Susan used.   The topic was on dating and the lists that single people make when looking for a future spouse. One of the points was that a list like than can cause you to miss out on the person that could be the right spouse. As I read their notes it made me think. As humans we like to make lists of how we would like things to be. The ring has to look like this and the center stone must be this many carats. The dress must look like this and the venue must look like that. We'll have two children, a dark haired boy and a blonde girl. Our house will look like this and will be de

  In April of 2012, I wrote a column titled "Hate". I was watching the news and seeing mostly violence. I had also recently listened to a talk by President Dieter Uchtdorf of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The talk was titled, "The Merciful Obtain Mercy" The talk was on being judgmental. He included the following in his talk. "This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following: Stop it!"   In my column I emphasized that this should be appliqued to hated of others.    I've been looking at the news again. Most of what I am reading is about violence, shooting,looting, raping, inflammatory language and vandalizing. I decided it was time to do something that I've never done before. I decided it was time to revisit the topic.   One thing I have never been able to understand

   I was going to knit two hats for my infant grandson. I had already made one and was almost finished with the other. After I finished this hat, I had one more to knit and then I could start on The Scarf Project. I was anxious to finish. As much as I like to knit the hats, I was getting bored. There is only one stich to knit and I was afraid I was going lose my ability to do other stitches.   There is a point in a knitted hat when you must change to double pointed needles because your circular needle is too big. I'd already done this twice so I felt pretty confident. I carefully inserted one double pointed needle into the stitches on the circular needle. I made sure all the stiches were on the needle. I did this with the other two double points. Then I carefully slipped the circular needle out. I put on my row marker and went back to knitting.    Then things started to go wrong. I had missed a stitch and it was hanging precariously one row below where I was. I got my trusty cr

   I was talking to Bishop Nealy at a baptism recently. We were discussing prayer and the fact that I dislike praying out loud in front of people. On those times when I am asked to offer a prayer out loud I tend to insert one or two smart-alec type things. I do this partly because I mean it, but also in hopes that I won't be asked again. It hasn't worked.   Bishop Nealy then introduced me to the principle of "stale cheese". He described prayer as a sandwich. You start with "Our Father" and end with "in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, Amen". This is the bread. In between the bread is any thing you want to add. If you want a good sandwich you must use fresh ingredients. The same is true for prayer. You would never add stale cheese to your sandwich, You should not use stale statements in your prayer. He asked his daughter to give an example of stale cheese in a prayer. Her example was the phrase "Thank you for this day." What makes th

   The Small Town Toastmasters had a White Elephant party last night. It was a fund raiser for the club. There were several things that the club needed as a whole and no one was anxious to raise the dues. Another club had used it as a fundraiser and it worked well for them.   Each member was supposed to bring a white elephant item to sell. A white elephant is, by definition, something that you want to get rid of. To me that means that you are trying to get rid of junk. I couldn't think of anything I really wanted to get rid of so instead I knitted two washcloths and bought a handmade bar of soap. It was not exactly a white elephant item, but I wanted it to be useful.    We decided that we would have a potluck. We set a date. Everyone got busy finding their items.    Last night they were all on display with nice descriptions of each item. There was a faux fur apron, a mug and coaster set and a set of books. There was a jar of dilly beans, a glass fish and a bowl of ceramic fru

   There is a pattern in my knitting book for a scarf. It is a single coloured scarf with a textured pattern in it. After the pattern is a list of variations and one of them caught my eye. It's a sample scarf. You start with a stitch pattern and change it up every three inches or so.   I started practicing various stitch patterns and found that I really liked the look. The only problem is that I don't need any more scarves. Then I had an idea. I have four step daughters. I could knit them each a scarf. I would make the scarf in their favourite colour and vary the stitch patterns. None of the scarves would look alike. The Scarf Project was born.   The first thing to do was to ask what each step daughter's favourite colour is. I knew a couple of them already. Carrie likes red and I knew a good red would set off her blonde- light brown hair and big brown eyes. Carmen likes purple. It suits her and her exotic dark beauty. I asked Denise what colour she liked. It turn out t

   If you've been watching any football in the United States the past few months, you have probably noticed the "No More" public service announcements that have run during the commercial breaks. These announcements feature NFL players and other well known people saying things like "No More Violence", "No More Excuses", "No More Bystanding".    These ads are being broadcast partly in the wake of the domestic abuse scandals involving high profile NFL players. While I applaud their attempt to take a  stand on this subject, I'm not impressed. It's a good show, but it is also lip service only. It's real easy to ask various players to participate in  this public service campaign. It's real easy for Roger Goodell to stand up at a press conference and say that they (NFL) needs to do a better job at handling these cases.    I'm not buying it.    I realized  this this morning when I watched a little of NFL AM. The cast of the

   I've never really followed fashion. It's sort of silly for me to do so because in order to be fashionable, one needs to be very thin, tall, and curvy in the right places. The short and stout need not apply.    Every once in awhile I see a fashion trend that I would like to wear. This year it is boots. I see women wearing jeans and leggings tucked into all kinds of boots. There's riding boots, motorcycle boots and western boots. Some of them are short ankle boots, some are long and cover the knees and some are in between. There are boots with spike heels, wedge heels and low heels. I would look wistfully at all the boots and wish that I could have a pair to wear.    I've had boots before. When I was in third grade I had a pair of reddish brown boots. I liked to wear them with a pair of green gauchos that I had. For those of you who don't know gauchos are a wide legged pant that is just below the knee in length. I though I was really cool when I had my boots an

  I dressed carefully on Saturday. I chose brown pants, a green turtleneck and the closest thing I had to a gold sweater. I added gold earrings and a gold barrette just in case. The instructions were very clear. The Herd was to wear gold today. Even though I was many miles away from the Fargodome, I had to support my Bison. I am a good alumna.   This game was very important, not because a 30 plus game winning streak would be broken. It was important because the Dakota Marker was at stake.   For those of you who don't know, the Dakota Marker is the prize that the winner of the South Dakota State University- North Dakota State University game receives. It is a replica of the monuments that once marked the border between North and South Dakota. It started when NDSU and SDSU both lost their instate rivals due to a move in division for both schools. The Marker has S.D. on one side, N.D. on the other side  and 190M which is the distance between Fargo and Brookings. The Marker has r

   One of my favourite shows is "A Football Life" which is on the NFL network. Each episode profiles a player or coach. A few weeks ago the subject was Doug Flutie. For those of you who don't know who he is, he played for the Canadian Football League from 1990 to 1997 and in the NFL from 1986-1989 and 1998-2005. He is best known for his "Hail Mary" pass in 1984 that gave his college team a win over Miami. (A Hail Mary is a long forward pass usually thrown in desperation. Players joke that you throw the ball up and then pray.)   The show focused on one of Flutie's physical features and how it affected his career. That feature was his size. He is 5 feet 9 and 3/4 inches tall. This is normal height for men, but short for a football player.   He started out in college being one of several quarterbacks on the Boston College team. He moved his way up to starter. Because of his height or lack of it, it was assumed that he wouldn't be able to play well. Onc

    For the last few years we had driven past signs advertising an open art studio. They have a selection of various projects to choose from. People can come in an work with mosaics, fused glass, or paint pottery. There is a place for metalwork and a place for people to make jewelry. I'd always been a little curious about the place. On one hand, it looked like fun. On the other hand it could be a place that catered more to children than adults.    This year I asked Charlie if we might go there. I'd looked it up on the Internet and it looked like something fun to do. He agreed that we could at least take a look.    When we got there we were greeted by a young woman who told us what projects were open and where we could work on each one. I was torn between jewelry making and painting pottery. I elected to paint pottery as I didn't think C would want to make jewelry. Also, when you make jewelry you should have at least some idea of what you want to do and I was clueless.

    We are on our annual pilgrimage to Door County. Lately we have been arriving in time for the Sister Bay Fall Festival. We have a lot of fun there. It's good people watching and also good dog watching as well. There are craft booths, good music and booyah.   This year I made  a bet with C. Before we left on vacation, he went to a store at the Big Mall (aka The Mall of America) and got an NDSU Bison pullover jacket and cap. I thought it a little funny that he would go all out for a school that he didn't attend. I wasn't going to complain though. The Herd could always use another member. He decided to wear his NDSU gear to the festival. I made a bet with him that no one at the festival would know what he was wearing. If someone said something that gave the impression that they were familiar with the Bison, I would pay for dinner at one of the more expensive restaurants. If no one said anything, C would pay.    We went to the craft booths first. There were a number of

   I read an article on the internet where Martha Stewart titled an article about holiday desserts "Conscious Coupling". This of course was meant to be a not so discreet slam against Gwyneth Paltrow who has her own lifestyle website, Goop.    I have to admit part of me thought it was pretty funny. It's bad enough that another celebrity saw fit to make a big announcement about a divorce. (Do they really have to do that?) It's even more ridiculous when it has to be phrased in such dramatic terms. I suppose you must be really special and cultured to 'consciously uncouple'. The rest of us just break up or get a divorce/annulment.   I have a hard time taking the name Goop seriously. Where I come from Goop is a soft lanolin based soap that is really good for getting grease off your hands. You can buy it at Fleet Farm right next to Gunk and Lava. The name Goop does not conjure elegant living to me.   You've guessed by now I'm not a fan of lifestyle expe

   Someone shared a post that got onto my Facebook page. It was a list of how to make a man happy and another list of how to make a woman happy. The list that dealt with how to make a man happy had five items on it mostly dealing with physical needs. The woman's list had 53 items on it. In one way I found it interesting and in another way I found it completely offensive. It gave the impression that women are needy, emotional creatures where men are clearly not. It also implied that a woman can only be really happy with a man when he is and can do everything.   I would like to propose my own list of what makes this woman (me) happy. Don't worry. It won't be 53 items.   First off, be a friend. Be the kind of person that I can go to for support when things are bad and celebration when things are good. Encourage me when I need it. Be a partner.    Be honest. Don't lie and don't sugar-coat things. Your words and your actions should match. Don't lead me on. If yo

  First I want to issue a disclaimer. I am a Packer fan. I have been one for many years and I intend to remain one. The following column is in no way meant to imply that I am changing sides.   After listening to a few disgruntled Vikings fans I must, in the name of human decency, speak up. I dislike poor treatment of human beings no matter who they are. I feel that Vikings quarterback Christian Ponder is being unfairly blamed for the Vikings loss to the Packers last Thursday.   Vikings fans were licking their chops in anticipation of their team, led by rookie quarterback Teddy Bridgewater, marching onto Lambeau Field and marching over the hapless Packers. They longed to see the Pack humiliated on their home turf. I had heard that Bridgewater was not going to be playing in that game for some reason and emailed a guy I know, a devoted Viking fan. His response was Nooooooooooooooooo. He knew, as I did, that Ponder would be starting.    The anticipated Packer trouncing did not happen

   Denise posted something on my Facebook page that made me tear up. She posted a picture with the following saying in it, "A step parent is so much more than a parent; they made the choice to love when they didn't have to." When I saw it I could feel my eyes fill up. This wasn't a post in response to anything. She'd done this all on her own.   I felt like I was finally accepted. That little post on my wall meant more to me than Denise could possibly realize. I felt like I had gone from being "dad's wife" to "stepmother". It may not sound like it, but there is a big difference between the two.   Part of this may be due to the fact that I had done some parent like things. A few weeks ago Denise had to go to a meeting to get some affairs straightened out. She was nervous and wanted someone to go with her. I had the day off and said I would go. She came to our house 45 minutes before the meeting. I had a cup of hot tea waiting for her. She

 At the beginning of 2001, I started a new job in a new town. My manager and I had both been brought in to start a new store. I was excited. I had left my last job because of personality conflicts with my coworkers. No one was getting along. I dreaded going to work wondering if I was going to get another day of the silent treatment.   This time it would be different. My new manager was a man named Scott. He, his wife Ava and two young children had moved from Iowa. He had been a manager for several years. I had spoken to him briefly and liked him. I was sure we'd get along. Joining the staff was our tech, Gana. Gana was my age with three children. I liked her too.    Scott had asked me to get acquainted with Ava. He and Ava had lived in Iowa near their families since they'd graduated from college. This was the first time Ava had moved away from them. He was worried that she would feel alone. I was happy to do this. It was something I was planning on doing anyway. I wa

    The walk sign had come on. C and I were about to cross the street when C grabbed me by the elbow and pulled me towards him. I was a little annoyed at being grabbed so roughly, but in a second it became clear why he had done so. A car going way too fast had blatantly run the red light. I wasn't looking that direction so I didn't see the speeding car. I was grateful that he had been watching and my annoyance at him was replaced with annoyance at the driver.   That is one of the few things I don't like about where we live. There seem to be a lot of people who think that stop signs or lights are suggestions to stop, not rules.   It wasn't the first time I'd had a near death experience on a city street. About 15 years or so ago I was crossing a street. The walk sign was on. I crossed the street and stopped partway through because my hair had blown into my eyes. I paused to push my hair back so I could see. It was a good thing I did because a car had run the red

   Dana and I were having coffee this morning. Well, actually to be fair neither of us were having coffee. I was drinking tea and she was drinking hot chocolate. I was showing her a stich sampler that I was working on. A stitch sampler is a strip of various knitting stitches used to learn or practice technique. I wanted to make a scarf using these various stitches and told her that I wanted to learn a few more stitches before starting the scarf.   Dana asked, "Would you like to learn cables?"    My knees turned to water. I would have fallen except that I was sitting. Did I want to learn cables? I wasn't capable of learning cables. Cables those wonderful patterns that are used on sweaters all over the world. I tried to read how to knit them... once. It involved complicated twisting of stiches and directions and things that made my head spin. I was nowhere good enough to learn how to knit cables. I'm only a novice.   "I'm not sure I can do that," I sa

   C and I went to the Minnesota Renaissance Festival today. We do this every year about this time. This year we did something different. We did not attend the Feast of Fantasy.   The Feast is a meal of several courses with various types of entertainment between the courses. There are jugglers, dancers,madrigals and storytellers. Sometimes the King will pay a visit. The Feast is hosted by the Feastmaster and his assistant. It is a good time and the audience is encouraged and sometimes roped into participating.    One thing that has been happening in recent years is that the Feast has become increasingly raunchy. It was always just a little bit racy, but the humour kept getting bluer and bluer. Last year there was some humour that C and I found seriously offensive. We needed to stop going to the Feast.   It was a little strange. C kept talking about how we needed to make reservations. I reminded him that we needed reservations because we had gone to the Feast. Since we weren't

   Hello, this is Colby. I am writing the column today. Sophie was going to write it. I convinced her to take a break.    Last night she was in the kitchen with a towel over her head. I asked her what she was doing. She said that she was steaming her sinuses. She lifted the towel up and showed me the pot of water that was making the steam. I asked her why she was doing that. She said she had a head cold. I touched her head with my nose. It was warm. I don't know why she thought her head was cold, maybe the steam was warming it up.   Humans do strange things. For instance, Sophie paints her toenails. It's really weird. She has all these little bottles of paint in different colours. She has this long routine that she goes through. First she takes this smelly stuff and rubs it on her nails. This takes the paint off her nails. It smells bad and makes her skin pucker up. Once her nails have no paint on them, she cuts them. I can understand this. She doesn't have a scratch pa