Released

   A few weeks ago I was asked to stay after a Ward Council meeting. Normally it's a meeting I don't attend, but the Relief Society president was out of town and one of my duties was to sit in for her on such meetings. I was fairly sure I knew what it was going to be about. 

   After the meeting I stayed behind while everyone had left. It was just me and one of the bishop's counselors. We sat in some chairs at one side of the bishop's office. He told me that I was going to be released from my calling as a Relief Society counselor. The release was going to be announced at Sacrament meeting (what the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints call their worship service.) that would take place in about 20 minutes. I'm sure I startled the counselor with my expression of joy and relief at what he told me. I'm sure he was expecting me to be upset and bewildered. Usually one knows about a release at least a few days before it happens. 

   I had a feeling that this was going to happen. Last fall we got a new bishop and new bishops usually like to change things. When I would be in meetings where we would talk about long range plans, I would get nervous. I didn't think that we should be making plans so far ahead when we didn't know how long we would remain as a presidency. I was also starting to get tired. Being a Relief Society counselor is a lot of work. Between my job, helping my parents out and trying to keep up with house work and other commitments, I was starting to feel worn out.

   There were tasks that I was in the middle of doing and I asked the bishopric counselor if I should finish those tasks. He told me no. After I was released I was not to do anything more. I was planning on passing some paperwork on to the counselor replacing me. I was told not to do that. The new presidency will arrange things how they choose.

   After the announcement I felt lighter. A great weight had just fallen off my shoulders. I returned the key to the church building that I had been given. When I got home I started getting rid of the paperwork that I had. Some of it needed to be shredded. Some of it was property that belonged to the church and I packaged it up so I could return it to the new president. Along with those items I added a necklace with the Relief Society emblem that I had bought for myself. I wore it whenever I was doing official RS stuff. The new president could have it. 

   I've spent the past few weeks thinking about my year and a half  in leadership. One of the things that I learned is that a lot of the skills that you need for leadership are skills I don't have.  I was nowhere near as organized and outgoing as I needed to be. There were duties that were difficult for me and I never got better at them. I needed to be a better time manager.  I did my best, but never felt it was good enough.

   There were some things I did well. I was fairly good at supervising the teachers and checking in with them to see that they had all they needed for their lessons. I enjoyed writing the letters to the inactive sisters and choosing the stationery to print them on. I had a few good conversations with women that I would normally not have had. 

   Overall was a good experience and I'm not sorry that I had it. I only wish that the journey had been joyful. It is possible to do hard things and be happy at the same time. 

   I'm not sure what is next for me.  Hopefully it will be something that will use a skill I have.