Back to Reality

   We have been home from Door County for about a week. I know that I should be searching for jobs, filling out applications, updating my resume and trying to figure out how I'm going to explain that I almost got a consulting only pharmacy licensed. That's what you do when you lose your job, you start searching for another one right away.
   I'm not doing that. Instead, I'm taking a week off to catch up. I washed all the clothes from our trip along with our sheets, towels and anything else that needed washing. I mopped the kitchen floor and cleaned the cats' water fountain. I started knitting the baby presents for my adopted niece since I didn't get them finished on our trip.
  There were a lot of things that I neglected while I was working at the clinic. I was given some birthday presents which are still sitting on the floor of my spare room. Things need to be cleaned and organized. It's supposed to be nice out this weekend and I am going to pull all the weeds out of the garden. Nothing got planted this year except a small packet of seeds that I threw on the bare ground hoping that some of them might take root and grow. (a few of them did)
  One of the things I've been taking some time to do is think about my time at the clinic. I spent a little bit of our trip angry about what happened and cheated because I had this wonderful idea and it got snuffed out before I had a chance to put this into practice. I had spent most of the summer working on getting a pharmacy license and I wasn't going to be able to finish the job. I felt like Moses. I can see the promised land, but I can't go in. I was also mad at the doctor who hired me. I felt like he had not be honest with me and that he had led me on.
   I knew I needed to let go of that anger. I didn't want to carry that around with me while job hunting. I want to move on and hanging on to bad feelings will not help.
   Every morning I study my Scriptures and sometimes listen to sermons and talks that I find inspiring. A few days ago, during my study, it hit me. I could forgive the doctor. He was doing his best. He had made a lot of financial mistakes that will continue to cause problems for him. I realised that I wasn't angry anymore. It felt like a weight had lifted off my shoulders. That tiny knot of anger was gone. I felt lighter and happier.
   The first thing I did was send a text to the doctor. We had not spoken since the lay off, another thing that had upset me. I wrote him that I felt he had been unfair to me on several levels and that I had been angry at him for that. Then I told him that during my Scripture study, I'd had an epiphany of sorts and that I've forgiven him and wished him luck.
  I wasn't expecting him to respond,but he did. He apologised and wrote a few other things. It was good. The air felt clear. I can move on now.
  Even though I could be accused of not coming back to reality, I believe that my time has been well spent. I'll be able to concentrate on my job search a lot easier if I'm not distracted by household chores that need to get done. Once I start working again, I may not have time to do these things,best to get them done now.
  Reality can start next week.