Judged and Unwelcome

   Someone posted and shared a post in a Facebook group that I belong to. This prompted a vehement response by another person. The response focused mainly on how the post would make others feel judged and unwelcome. I'm being intentionally vague here because neither of the parties  involved know that I write and I don't want to focus on the people. I want to write about the situation.
  My immediate reaction to this response was "oh boy". It was a very powerful response. It almost sounded like the cork coming out of a bottle. For some reason it kept sticking in my head. For several days it has been rolling around in my head. I'm not sure why. When this happens for some reason writing seems to help me sort it out. This is my attempt to sort it out.
  I find myself being of two minds about this subject. Judgment has become a bad word these days. One of the definitions of judge as a verb is "to pass sentence upon ; condemn". (This is according to my trusty American Heritage Dictionary.) That is not the only meaning of the word. It also means "to form an opinion about, To arrive at or draw a conclusion. To form an opinion or an evaluation." Most of the time the first definition seems to the one used.
  I can understand what it feels like to be judged unfairly by others. I would say that all of us at some point in time have formed an opinion about someone based on scanty or incomplete information. We may form that opinion based on just what we see and nothing else. Many times the results are hurt feelings and missed opportunities.
  I've been on both sides. I know the painful experience of having someone decide who I am without really knowing. I've also known the embarrassment of having seriously misjudged someone. (In the latter case I did write an apology to the person involved. It was a lesson I've never forgotten.)
  One of the results of being judged is feeling unwelcome. One of the worst feelings in the world is being someplace where you don't fit in. Where you are clearly not wanted. I've been there as well. I know what that's like.
  In that respect, I can fully empathize with the response.
  However I can also see another side.
  The original post was one person's opinion. It is their view based on what they know and how that knowledge applies to their situation. Others may agree and others may not agree. Yes, there is a judgment in the original post, but it is judgment in the other definitions of the word. The ones about forming an opinion or evaluation.
  In this sense the response seems a little...well....off. Instead of taking it as one person's view of the world, the responder seemed to take personally. I'm guessing that the poster didn't intend to offend or hurt anyone. He was just sharing something that he found interesting or helpful.
  Choosing not to be offended is a difficult thing to do. It is not easy to shrug it off when someone else's opinion feels like a condemnation of you or the way you choose to live your life. It's a skill I'm still working on.
  Another difficult thing is to go someplace where you are not welcome. Sometimes you have to tell yourself that you have a right to be where you are and if others don't like it, that's too bad. You can't let other people choose where you should go and dictate what you should do. There are many times where I've gone someplace and felt unwelcome, but my reason for being there wasn't for the other people. It was for me. I wasn't going to let anyone keep me from being someplace where I could receive some benefit or show support.
  I think sometimes we use dislike of being judged and feeling unwelcome as reasons not to stretch ourselves. It's a good excuse to stay in our safe little bubble and not get to know others who are different from us.
  I'm still not sure what I think of this post and response. Maybe there isn't supposed to be conclusion to arrive at. Perhaps the point was to think about all sides of the issue....