The Tree Speech

   The past few weeks I've been struggling with something. After much thought,I've come to the conclusion that I need to throw a couple people out of my life. The problem is that they are family. You're not supposed to do that with family. You are supposed to love them a cherish them.
  The problem is there is not much love and no cherishing. There is only anger, hurt and a lot of drama. I've done my best to keep the peace, to understand and to be respectful. It's just not working.
  One of C's Facebook friends shared a video that C played for me. I'm going to get into a lot of trouble for mentioning it, but it's too good not to.
  The video is a speech given by Madea,  a matriarch of an African American family. She is a character created by writer and actor Tyler Perry. The message in the speech is universal and transcends race, gender, religion and age. I urge all of you, especially those who are having trouble with or are in difficult relationships to watch the video. You can find it by typing "Madea tree speech" into any search engine.
  Madea says that some people come into your life for a season and others for a lifetime. When you get the two mixed up there is trouble. Some people are meant to be in your life to teach you one  thing and them move on.
  People are like parts of a tree. Some people are leaves. They come for a season and are gone. Some are unstable and blow wherever the wind lets them go. Don't get angry with those people. Let them go. They are doing all they can do.
  Others are like branches and these you must watch out for. They can be tricky. They look solid until you climb on them and they break leaving you on the ground.
  A few are like the roots and these are the ones you keep. These are the ones that stay no matter what. Finding a few roots is a blessing.
  It's not easy to let people go. It gets easier with time. It is better to be by yourself and happy then with someone who makes you unhappy.
  Madea also has some good advice for handling conflict.  She says,"...I never throw nobody away. I've never in my life just thrown somebody away.  'Look, don't bother me no more. Don't talk to me.'  I've never done that. What I do is I tell 'em and say, 'Look, this thing you're doing right but here, that's gonna cause a problem. You need to fix that cause if we're gonna be friends, if we're gonna be cool, you gotta fix that. And if you don't, we're gonna have an issue.' If you see somebody fix it or they're even trying to fix it, that's somebody that cares. Keep those people around. That's a leaf that's trying to grow up and be something else. You understand? But if you tell somebody, what you're doing is hurting me and I need you to stop it and they keep doing it, they don't care. So move on. Let 'em go. No matter how much it hurts, let 'em go. "
  When I heard this I started to feel better. I felt at peace. Madea is right. There is no need to keep people in your life that don't treat you well. This is a lesson I learned many years ago, but had forgotten.
  I listened to the speech a couple of times. Each time the words rang true and loud and clear. The people I need to let go of are like leaves. The need to go to their next stop and I need to simply let them go with gratitude for what I learned from them and the good times we've had.
  I no longer feel guilty. There's no need to. It is time to move on.