21 August 2004

   Sophie Genevieve Story

and

C. Livingston Crane

have chosen the first day of their new life together

as Saturday, the twenty-first of August

two thousand and four.









     It was a new day, a day of happy beginnings. The sun was shining. It was not too hot. It was, in fact, the perfect day to get married.

    I was wearing the most expensive piece of clothing I had ever bought. I had more make-up on than I had worn in years. My nail were painted, my hair was done. I didn't look anything like me.

   It had been fourteen months and fifteen days since I answered yes to a proposal that went on for five minutes. A lot had happened in that time. I was trying to figure out how I'd be a good wife, stepmother and grandmother. I was trying to get accustomed to the fact that I would not be alone anymore, that I would be sharing my life with someone.

  Unlike most women, I never planned on getting married. Marriage was for beautiful women who were graceful and socially apt. Not for short, stout dark-haired women who like to read books. Somehow I had managed to fall in love with someone who didn't mind having to share his house with two cats. Someone who liked me the way I am. Someone who didn't care that I wore glasses and didn't wear make-up.

   Planning a wedding is stressful and even more so for someone who had no clue. I wasn't interested in all the fancy trappings. I didn't care about wedding themes, styles or colors. I only went on one dress shopping expedition. It was all I could stand. I wanted a dress with sleeves, but there were none to be found. I found one that wasn't too frilly, wasn't too fussy and wasn't too uncomfortable.

   All the extraneous stuff didn't matter to me. At age 35 I knew that no one looked at wedding albums, that wedding videos got erased or taped over. The only thing that was going to last was the promises that C and I would make to each other. I cared more about what would happen on 22 August than I did on 21 August.

   The wedding turned out to be more fun than I thought it would be. Since we had a very small guest list, we had a wedding dinner of several courses. In between courses people would get up and talk. People made toasts and generally just had a good time. I didn't know it at the time, but having a post wedding dinner is traditional in the Italian side of my family. Everyone had a good time. The wedding was a success. Would the marriage be as successful?

   Over the last ten years we have had changes. We moved three time all in the space of two years. I changed jobs twice. C changed jobs. The were people who left our lives. We made new friends. We had some hard times and the hard times made us grow together. We had successes.

  I can say ten years later that our marriage is a success. We managed to stick together and love each other. We learned how to live together and how to forgive each other. We learned to overlook the little annoying things. We did what we promised to do.

   I saw something on Facebook that said two people in a healthy relationship promise to help each other to be the best they can be. That's true and it is an ongoing process. I know I'm too serious and C helps me to lighten up. I try to help him be more serious when he needs to be.

   We still love and care for each other. I know it's not fashionable to be disgustingly smitten with your spouse after so long. I don't care and neither does C. We're just going to go on doing what we are doing.

   It doesn't feel like we've been married for ten years. It feel like so much longer. That's a good thing. It's not same kind of happily ever after you read about in fairy tales. It's much better than that.

  Happy Anniversary C

Always Have, Always Will