Lists and Expectations

   President Campbell and Susan, his wife, gave a presentation to a group of young single adults last Sunday. He had told me about this ahead time. I felt a little envious of his audience. I would have liked to have been there for the presentation. Both of them are very good when it comes to speaking and teaching. The next day I asked him how it went. He gave his thoughts and a copy of the notes that he and Susan used.
  The topic was on dating and the lists that single people make when looking for a future spouse. One of the points was that a list like than can cause you to miss out on the person that could be the right spouse. As I read their notes it made me think. As humans we like to make lists of how we would like things to be. The ring has to look like this and the center stone must be this many carats. The dress must look like this and the venue must look like that. We'll have two children, a dark haired boy and a blonde girl. Our house will look like this and will be decorated in this style.
  It doesn't just have to involve marriage. It could be a party you are planning, a meal you are serving or a project you are trying to make. Most of us have an internal list or expectation of how this is supposed to turn out.
  What happens when it doesn't? What happens if the woman you are coming to care for is not tall with dark hair or the guy that you've been getting serious about is not blonde and is nearly a foot taller than you are? What do you do then?
  You have two choices. You can stick firmly to your list because you don't want to "settle" or you can jettison that list because you've found someone special and those external qualities don't seem to matter as much.
  Things rarely happen as we would wish. The dream home could be out of your price range or not practical. The two children could turn out to be three. Your son may be more interested in physics that football and the daughter you hoped would be dainty and ladylike is turning out to be a complete tomboy who likes trains.
  You have to learn to adjust. The party you planned so meticulously may not have turned out like you planned. The elegant main course that you spent all day making didn't look like the picture in the recipe book even though you followed the directions. The scarf you knitted has one end wider that the other even though you are sure you followed the pattern exactly.
   I think one trait of a person who is successful in life is someone who has the ability to manage when life throws a curve ball. They don't tend to waste energy cursing and railing about the unfairness of it all. They instead look at the situation and think, there is something good in here somewhere. How do I find it? How can I make the most of what I have?
  I believe that an attitude like this can make a huge impact on your life. The party may not have been the elegant affair you wanted it to be, but everyone who was there had a really good time. The meal may not have looked like the cookbook, but it tasted so good that you have no leftovers. Your son may not be taking his football team to state, but he did win an award for the physics project that he's been working on and your daughter is happy and has a impressive collection of toy trains that she bought herself. That scarf with the uneven edge may not look the prettiest, but it is good at keeping you warm.
   The next time things don't match the picture in your head, adjust the picture. You may find it is a pretty good one after all.