Humans Do Strange Things

   Hello, this is Colby. I am writing the column today. Sophie was going to write it. I convinced her to take a break.
   Last night she was in the kitchen with a towel over her head. I asked her what she was doing. She said that she was steaming her sinuses. She lifted the towel up and showed me the pot of water that was making the steam. I asked her why she was doing that. She said she had a head cold. I touched her head with my nose. It was warm. I don't know why she thought her head was cold, maybe the steam was warming it up.
  Humans do strange things. For instance, Sophie paints her toenails. It's really weird. She has all these little bottles of paint in different colours. She has this long routine that she goes through. First she takes this smelly stuff and rubs it on her nails. This takes the paint off her nails. It smells bad and makes her skin pucker up. Once her nails have no paint on them, she cuts them. I can understand this. She doesn't have a scratch pad like we do to help keep her nails short. She has to cut them.
  Once she finishes cutting her nails then she does the really weird stuff. She paints her nails with clear paint. I asked her why she did this once. She said it is a base coat to help keep the paint on longer. I don't get it. If you want you nails to be a different colour then just paint them that colour. She has to let the base coat dry. Then she puts on the colour she wants. She puts one coat on and then waits for it to dry. To me this makes no sense. She just put that smelly stuff on her nails to take the paint off and now she is repainting them? Weird. After the first coat of coloured paint is on she repaints them with the same colour. I asked her why she does this. She told me it was to make sure that the coat was even. Why not just paint the first coat more carefully and then you don't have to do it again.
  After the second coat of coloured paint is dry she paints them again with clear paint. I guess this is to keep the coloured paint from chipping. This just seems like so much work. Why would anyone want to spend time doing this? Sophie said she used to go to a salon where someone would paint her nails for her. I don't get it. It must be a weird human thing.
  Last week I saw Sophie in front of the computer. She was eating her lunch. She doesn't usually eat lunch in the computer room. I asked what she was doing. She said she was having lunch with a friend. There was no one in the room with her. I think she's going nuts. I asked how she could have lunch with a friend when she was all alone in the room. She told me that her friend was on Facebook and that they were chatting. I jumped up on the computer desk to she what she was talking about. I saw that they were typing at each other. When her friend would type  a picture would show up. I shook my head and left the room.
   It's football season. This is when the humans act really strange. C and Sophie sit in front of the TV. Sophie likes to yell at the players. I don't know why she does this. They can't hear her. Football is a strange game. I don't know why they call it football. The ball doesn't look like a foot. Most of the time the ball is either carried or thrown. I don't know why they call it football. Maybe the ball is a foot long, I don't know. I've never seen one up close.
  Even though football is a strange human game, I like it. My favourite team is the Carolina Panthers. I like the mascot, Sir Purr. He is so cool. The only thing that would make him better is if he were an orange cat like me. That probably wouldn't work thought. The team colours are black, blue and white. The uniform would clash badly with orange fur. I've never heard of an orange panther although I have heard that there is a pink panther. Pink seems like an odd colour for a panther.
  I suppose I'd better get going. I have rounds to do. There is a strange bag in the kitchen that I have to inspect. Scamp and I have planned to nap together as soon as I done with my work. I enjoy napping with him. Bye!