Church Christmas Program

  As many of you know I tend to dread December for many reasons. Once of them is the church Christmas program. Every year C and I participate by doing some sort of musical number. Every year I muff my part.
  Two years ago after screwing up "Angels We Have Heard on High" a duet C and I played on the guitar and harp, I decided that I was not going to play the harp in a Christmas program ever again. In fact I was not going to play the harp in public ever again. I was tired of being able to play just fine in practice and then being unable to play when my hands would decide to shake uncontrollably. I had had enough. I would play the hammered dulcimer instead. I would still have some trouble if my tremors got bad, but I would be able to hit more notes than I could with the harp.
  Last year I played the dulcimer in the program. It didn't go perfectly, but it went better than the year before. (It couldn't possibly have gone worse.)
  This year we were asked to play for the program. Bishop Nealy said he wanted to hear the harp. Part of me wanted to tell him that I was giving up public humiliation for Advent, but I knew it wouldn't work. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints does not observe Advent. Advent is also not the time that things are given up. (That would be Lent.) I have found that when a bishop really wants you to do something, he will find a way to get you to do it and feel grateful for the opportunity. Saying no was not going to be an option.
  I waited and waited for C to tell me what song to learn. Less than a month before the program, he gave me my assignment. It would be "Far, Far Away on Judea's Plains" in the key of D. I could do that. I found the song in the online hymnal and used the transposition software to get it into the correct key. I figured out an uncomplicated harp part. Then I started to practice.
  I was seriously nervous about this. I preferred at least 45 days before the program to practice. This way I could get as much practice time in as I could. At less than 30 days I would have to practice every single day without fail. I couldn't afford not to. I needed to get that music down as fast and as thoroughly as I could.
  The week before the program C and I started practicing together. We had to squeeze time in after work, right before bedtime and anytime we were in the house together. It was crunch time. I was worried. Both of us were having a little trouble getting in sync. C was experimenting with variations on his part. I wasn't sure how we were going to pull this off. I don't think we ever played the song through perfectly in practice.
  The day of the program came. Much of the ward had been hit with an intestinal virus and were not at sacrament meeting that day. I was somewhat relieved. If I was going to bungle it, at least it would be in front of a small crowd.
  C and I got to church early and ran through it a few times. I played my part alone while C stood in the back to make sure I was could be heard. We went back to our seats.
  I felt calm while waiting for our turn. That's not usually the case. Most of the time I am sitting on my hands and doing anything I can do to keep them still.
  When it came our turn I picked up my harp. I had a little spasm of nervous tears. Then I took a deep breath and walked confidently with my harp under my arm. We got into position and began to play. Something amazing happened. My hands were shaking, but only a little. I could still get them to do what I wanted to do. There was a good chance that I might be able to pull this off. I kept playing even through the two fumbles that I had. When we got to the end of the song, I didn't breathe my usual sigh of relief. Instead I smiled. I only fumbled twice. That was it. I hit most of my notes. We had done it! We had pulled it off! I had less practice time than I ever had before, but somehow it came out all right.
  I carried my harp back to my seat and levered her down. It was all right. We had done it. For the first time in all the years I had played in the program, I felt genuinely good about what we had done. I took a quick glance up and said thank you. This was one of the best Christmas presents ever.