Elin's Getting Married

 


   I saw the post on Facebook. Elin, one of my stepdaughters, is going to marry her boyfriend. The wedding will be in the beginning of April. I guess this is how you announce such things now. I knew that she and Chet were engaged, but I've known people who were engaged for years and years. I thought this would be the case with Elin and Chet. 

  C and I will not be at the wedding. Elin told me that this would be a very small ceremony followed by a lunch. After lunch they will leave for their honeymoon. Elin's been married twice so I wasn't expecting a large ceremony.

   I wanted to get her something for her wedding outfit. A good place to look for such things is the Chapel of Love at the Mall of America. I looked over the tiaras, hair jewelry and other things. Then I spotted it. It was in a corner. It was a small rhinestone horseshoe. 

   The horseshoe has always been a symbol of luck. Since Elin and Chet live in Texas, a horseshoe just seemed like the perfect thing. My rule is that when I see something that makes me think of a particular person, I should buy it for them. I bought the horseshoe.

   It has the benefit of being easy and relatively inexpensive to mail. Along with the horseshoe I'm going to write a letter with some advice in it. I know the last thing Elin wants is marriage advice but I want to share some things I've learned. Just because they put the "step" in front of parent doesn't make me less of a parent.

   I want to tell her that the most important thing is to be friends. Friendship is the best base for a marriage. Love can grow from friendship. It is also important that your spouse be the most important person in your life. I know that sounds strange, because most people think that the children should come first. In my opinion, a couple with a strong bond between them will be better parents. 

   One thing I want to tell her is not to go into a marriage thinking that divorce is an option. This was something that I heard when I was engaged. It came from a fundamentalist preacher that I didn't like. I understood it to mean that when challenges arise and they always do, do not run, work them out. Seek help if needed. Be truly committed.

   The last thing I want to tell her is that marriage is a lot of work and sometimes not much fun. There is, however, a richness in life that comes with having a partner for the journey. The joy is doubled and the sadness halved. I love sharing new things with C and exploring together. My wish for Elin and Chet is that they experience the joy that C and I have in our marriage. 

   I hope that horseshoe fills up with love and blessing and rains down over them both and their family.



   

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