Bionic Ears

 

   After several months of frustration, a few strong discussions with C and two hearing tests, I have had to face a fact. I am losing my hearing. The cause for this is unknown. It might be nerve damage. It could be Covid related auditory nerve damage. It has also been suggested that it could also be be a tumour in the auditory canal. At this point the cause isn't really important. The hearing loss isn't reversible. The only thing that can be done is to get hearing aids.

   I've rebelled at this thought. I didn't want hearing aids. I really didn't think they would help. A lot of the trouble I have hearing is due to constant ringing in my ears and hearing aids will not correct that. All they do is amplify the sounds in the range of the ringing so I can hear them better. I didn't want them because they would cause my hearing be become gradually worse.

   The truth was I didn't want them because I was ashamed. People my age don't need hearing aids unless they've had some significant damage to their hearing. The thought of having to wear hearing aids made me feel like I was defective and old. 

  I wear glasses and contacts because my eyes simply don't work well. I started wearing glasses when I was nine years old. Wearing glasses never made me feel defective. If I'm all right with glasses to help my vision, why can't I be all right with hearing aids to help my hearing? Especially since you may not know I'm wearing them.

   Clearly it was time for a change in attitude. The fact was I needed them and the longer I put it off, the more trouble I'm going to have. I started off by referring to them, at least to myself and C, as "bionic ears". The next thing I did was to tell a few people that I trust that I'm losing my hearing and working on taking care of that challenge. Admitting it wasn't as bad as I thought. 

   One of the things I was worried about was the fact that sounds would be a lot louder with the hearing aids. I was concerned that I'd be overwhelmed by the amount of noise I could now hear especially in large crowds. I reminded myself that hearing aids have volume adjustments and programing to deal with these things. After a bit of shopping we found a pair that had the features I needed and were affordable.

   I've had them for about half a week now and I must say that they are definitely helping. There are a few things I've had to get used to, like being able to hear more high pitched sounds. The bionic ears are connected to my phone so I hear notifications in my ears unless I turn my ringer off. One time I was walking down the hall at home and was caught of guard by a text alert and screamed. C came rushing out of the bedroom to see what was wrong. It wasn't funny at the time, but is now. I'm really looking forward to seeing how well they work in other situations.

   I sometimes have trouble understanding what people are saying despite hearing the sounds. According to the audiologist, this is common and due to certain nerves lacking stimulation over a long period of time. He told me that this is something that will not get better, but I'm not so sure about that. I know that new neural pathways can be created. It may take time to improve, but I'm hopeful.

   It's going to take time to get used to my bionic ears and I'll have to go in the have them checked and get program updates from time to time. (Also getting used to wearing glasses and bionic ears at the same time) It's a new adventure going into a new year.