It's Good To Have A Human

   Hi! My name is Skamp! I'm writing today to address an issue that has come up in the feline community. There are many felines that are advocating for free living which as we all know means living in the outdoors. There are some out there who express great scorn for those of us who choose to live with humans.
   Before I start, I do want to say that there are some cases where free living is good. Cats who live on farms or out in the country can live free safely. Cities are different matters. There are too many risks of death, serious injury or illness.
   The first thing I want to do it to address some of the stereotypes that some of you have about humans. For the most part, humans are good. Yes, there are many who are cruel and treat the companion animals who choose to live with them badly. There are some who overwork their companion animals as well. Then there are those who dress their companion animals in silly looking clothes. Some of them even take pictures.  I'm sorry that there are those kinds of humans around. Female humans tend to be nicer than male humans at least when it comes to cats.
   Humans can be very useful to have around. They serve food, clean litter boxes and keep water around at all times. They also provide beds, scratching posts and exercise equipment. (They are NOT toys.) Really good humans will buy or sometimes make special blankets for their cats. Humans are good groomers and provide safe, clean, comfortable living quarters.
   Humans can also be good companions. There are few things better than to snooze on a nice warm lap. Some humans are adept at the art of petting and scratching. My human is an excellent groomer. My coat and the coat of my brother, Colby, are kept in good condition by her expert grooming. We seldom have to deal with hairballs.
   I know that there are some of you who are having trouble getting along with your humans. Part of this is due to insufficiently or untrained humans. Training a human does take time, but in the long run is worth it. I have a few tips for those of you who are training humans. Use positive reinforcement. When your human does something good purr at them and show them affection. Human females seem to really like purring. If you must nip at your human, try not to draw blood. This could lead to you and/or your human having to seek medical help. Use vocalization to indicate what you need. If your human is ignoring you it is perfectly acceptable for you to sit on their book, newspaper or laptop until you have been attended to.
  There is one instance where you should not interrupt your human. Do not interrupt your human when they are working out. You can tell they are working out when they put on tight clothes and do things like ride a bike that goes nowhere, run on a treadmill or use an elliptical. Be careful if they do things like flail their arms and legs around and run or jump in place. If they are watching something on a screen while they do this, do not get in between your human and the screen.
  The best thing to do is watch your human work out. It can be very entertaining, especially if your human does something called yoga. You can tell that your human is about to do yoga if they roll a mat onto the floor and strange music starts playing. Yoga is when humans move in strange ways on the mat. Try not to laugh if they do a cat or dog pose. Resist the urge to jump on them, you may injure them.
   I have lived with humans for ten years. While there may be some disadvantages to living with humans, the advantages outweigh them. One of the best things that I like about living with humans is the ability to help them. I have comforted my humans when sad. I have interrupted arguments. I have given my humans a way to share happiness. I also help them by making their home more attractive and I've even helped make the bed a few times.
  I think those cats that choose to live free should stop being scornful of those of us that choose to live with humans. It is a perfectly acceptable lifestyle choice.
   It's time for my nap.
    Bye!