Improving Human-Feline Relations: Tips for Humans

   Hi, This is Skamp! Colby and I are continuing to receive positive feedback for our recent column on tips for training humans. Several cats and a few humans have asked us to write a second column with tips for humans that live with cats.
   Before we go further we'd like to thank a few different groups. First, thank you to all of you who have been reading this. We know that many of you don't live with cats. Thank you for being patient with us. We'd like to thank Sophie for allowing us to use her column for these very important topics. We'd also like to thank her for typing for us. We can type, but she is much faster.
   This column is primarily for humans that live with cats. Colby was fostered with dogs and believes that some of the advice we are giving may be helpful to those who live with dogs.
   The first thing that humans need to understand is that cats can talk. You are probably wondering why I'm saying that because most cats do not talk the way Colby and I do. The reason why Colby and I can talk human talk and write is because we have special cat powers. I used to think that only cats had these powers, but I've seen on YouTube a mule and a horse that are able to talk human talk. For the purposes of this column, we are going to assume that your cat either does not have or chooses not to use the power to talk like a human.
   There are many ways that cats can communicate. One of them is by vocalization. Cats can purr, meow, growl, hiss, and spit. Most of the time purring means happiness although sometimes we purr when upset or anxious to calm ourselves down. Colby purrs when he is groomed because it tickles and cats are unable to laugh. Meowing is what we use to get your attention or when we are hurt.  Growling hissing and spitting are sounds we make when we feel threatened or are angry. Think of hissing as swearing, but socially acceptable. If you pay attention to our vocalizations it can tell you a lot about what we need or want. Be advised that this is a basic list. There are cats that can vocalize in other ways such as chirping.
  Body language is another way cats communicate. If a cat is standing with an arched back, that is not a good thing. That is a cat on the defensive. On the other hand, if a cat is laying on the floor or another piece of furniture stretched out, that is a cat that is comfortable and feels safe. If a cat is crouched, that could be a stalking or pouncing position. Cats can also focus on something very intently. This means we are trying to figure out something. Don't distract us.
   Tail language is very important. A cat who is switching the tail around quickly may be agitated or seeing a predator. A cat who is gently swishing the tail side to side is contented. Some cats have beautiful tails and like to show them off. Some cats like to wind their tails around themselves when napping.
   Some cats like to have one on one interaction with their humans. Be sure to schedule this in. If you fail to give your cat wanted attention the cat may resort to knocking things down or climbing on your lap. Some cats will sit on newspapers, laptops or I Pads to get your attention. There is only one time when a cat shouldn't bother you. That is when you are exercising. The only exception if is you are lying flat on a mat when doing yoga. Your cat may choose to assist you by lying on top of you.
  All cats need a safe place where they can go. Some cats are shy when strangers come to visit. Some are confronted by a situation they don't like and wish to leave. The safe place is one where they can stay without having to worry that you will force them out. My safe place is under the dining room table. Colby prefers to be behind the couch. When we have had enough attention, let us jump off your lap. This means we have had enough and have other things to do.
  Please feed us on time. There are few things worse than being hungry and your human is scrolling through Facebook not paying attention. Remember we do not have opposable thumbs and cannot feed ourselves. Cats may have to take measures such as destroying property in order to get the attention of the human at mealtime. Save everyone trouble and be prompt with meals.
   Naptime is very important. Cats sleep 12-16 hours. We like to choose where we will sleep and sometimes that depends on the season. In the winter I love to curl up on my blanket. In the summer I have been known to stretch out on the floor. Some cats like to nap on their human's laps. If your cat is on your lap sleeping and you have to get up, please lay your cat in a comfortable place. It's rude to get up and make your cat jump off.
  Colby and I can't think of anything more to write so we are going to end this. We hope we have been helpful. Bye!