Farewell Dean

   It happened this week. We knew it was coming. Ever since July, we knew this was going to happen. We hoped that maybe it would happen later. Perhaps sometime next year. Sometime after our usual spring trip into the Carolinas.
  It was a vain hope. Dean had been diagnosed with an aggressive form of lung cancer. It was a strange sort of cancer for a man who, as far as I know, had never smoked.
  On Wednesday, Dean climbed into that golden canoe that C teased him about and rowed over to the other side. Waiting for him would be his mother, brother and many others he cared about including a few dogs.
   I feel very blessed to have shared one special last experience with him and his wife, Sarah.
   Last spring in South Carolina we planned a trip. Dean decided that C and I needed to experience the North Shore in Minnesota. It was time that we went past Duluth to see the real beauty of northern Minnesota. We were going to spend a long weekend in Grand Marais. We found a place to stay and reservations were made. All four of us were looking forward to it.
   Then Dean was diagnosed with cancer. Was the trip still on? Was Dean going to be well enough to travel? Was Dean even going to be alive? We didn't know.
   Sarah kept us posted. Since his cancer was so aggressive, he was not going to do chemo or radiation. It wasn't going to cure him. It might give him more time, but it would be a miserable time. Not what he wanted to do.
   As the time for the trip grew closer we wondered what to do. He was in the hospital several times because his lungs were filling up with fluid, a side effect of the cancer. He'd be fine for a bit then would need to go in to get his lungs drained.
   He had a trip planned. Not only did he want to go with us to the North Shore, he wanted to attend a family wedding and visit his family in Minnesota. The day before they were supposed to leave, a way had been found for them to drain his lungs while travelling. He got out of the hospital and got the medications and supplies he'd need for the trip. Sarah packed their things and what they would need for the dogs (who were coming along). They got into their van and hit the road.
  C called them every few days to see how things were going. Dean was a man on a mission. They made it to the wedding where he got to see many friends and family. Then they headed for the North Shore. We agreed on a meeting place.
   When we got there Sarah met us. Dean was in the back resting. He got out of the back of the van to greet us. We were a little shocked. He looked sick. He'd lost weight. His face was grey. We were nervous.
  We left Dean to rest a little more and went down the road to get some smoked fish. Sarah filled us in on what the plans would be for the rest of the day. We were going to go to Gooseberry Falls and Split Rock Lighthouse. Dean was going to rest in the van. He wanted to save his strength for the Temperance River and the stops after.
  We went back to the van. Dean was feeling a little better. We started out for our first stop.
   What happened next few days were almost magical. We explored all the places that Dean loved most. He led our little group up rocky paths, near rivers and waterfalls into overlooks and lakes. We had to stop often so Dean could catch his breath. He was determined. He had places to see.
   The fact that he wanted to share this experience with us meant a lot. It was interesting that we were seeing this for the first time and he was seeing it for the last. We watched him drink it all in. He told a lot of stories about the places we were seeing. He and Sarah had been nearly everywhere. They had lots of memories they generously shared with us.
  We attempted to skip rocks on a beach on Lake Superior, we hiked nervously on the path near the Upper Temperance River and we marvelled at the way water cut through the basalt rocks and formed.
  We hiked up to Honeymoon Bluff. It's on the Gunflint Trail, a place very special to Dean. We weren't sure he was going to be able to make the steep climb, but he was stubborn. He wanted to see it. He wanted us to see it. While we were standing up there looking at the lakes and the scenery, Dean told us what we were looking at. He talked about some of his adventures camping and hiking along those lakes. He told us he wanted some of his ashes scattered below.
  There were a few humorous moments. We had stopped at a gas station to fill up our tanks and get a few snacks. While being rung up Dean told the cashier that this was his last time in the area and that he would soon be going home. When she asked where home is, he smiled and simply pointed up. Once Dean was out of earshot, C explained to the confused clerk that he had a short time to live and this was his last trip into the area. The clerk was amazed. To her, he didn't look like he was that sick.
  On Sunday we made a few more stops. Then by an overlook over Lake Superior, we parted company. It was hard. This was the last time the four of us were going to be together. I didn't know what to say to Dean. I didn't want to say goodbye. I hugged him and said, "Take care of yourself, travel safe"
  It's not going to be the same with Dean gone. He and C have been friends for a very long time. I met them shortly before C and I were married. The four of us have helped each other through hard times and rejoiced with each other during good times.
   The three of us will have to carry on. Dean would not want it otherwise.
    I'm grateful for the time that we did have. I'm grateful for the support and the love and the opportunity to love and support Dean and Sarah. I'm grateful for the lessons that I've learned from this experience. Don't take things for granted. Share the things and places you love with people you care about. Live happily. Serve others.
   Thank you Dean. Take care of yourself. We'll see you again....... sometime........