Forgiveness

   Yesterday we went to visit my sister-in law Myna. This was a significant thing to do. About 11 years ago we had a falling out with her. It's a long story that I'm not going to tell. Suffice it to say that we broke off all contact. I hunted down anything I thought she might have given us and either put it away or gave it to someone who might us it.
   I was really mad at her. I didn't want to see her, talk to her or talk about her ever again. I did not have room for people like that in my life.
  Years passed and we did not communicate with her at all. When my father-in-law passed away, she had someone else call C to let him know. (Fortunately, their older sister called C first.) It was another mess and I was more mad at her. (I didn't think it was possible to be that mad at someone, but I sure was.)
  More years passed. Earlier this year, C started communicating with her on Facebook. At the same time he also started communicating with some of her children. Most of the time it wasn't much, a like or short comment on Facebook. Then we started planning this trip. We knew that there would be a gathering of the cousins. Myrna would probably attend that. C decided that we would visit Myrna before the gathering.
  I was grateful that C was mending his relationship with his sister. However I didn't see any need to repair anything. I am only a sister-in-law and a much younger one at that. I had no interest in paying a visit. However, I didn't want C to have to go alone.
  After a phone call to make sure that she was home, we set out. When we arrived at her house she was not alone. Myrna's daughter, Lynn, was there. Lynn's son Chris was also there. I remembered Chris, the last time I saw him he was a small boy. A few years ago he had taken up playing the guitar and singing. He was looking forward to seeing C.
   After visiting for a little bit, C and Chris began to jam. Chris is very talented. He is a strummer which works well with the classic country music that he prefers to perform. He also has a magnificent singing voice, the equal of any professional that I have heard. C showed him a few things and then introduced him to the twelve string guitar. After a little initial fumbling, he took to it like he had been born with one in his hand. He even played a few songs that he thought would work well with a twelve string.
  While we were there, other visitors dropped in. One of them was Myrna's daughter, Linda. She stopped by long enough to chat for a bit and then was off again. Jimmie, Myrna's first husband, stopped by. He and C go way back. C showed Jimmie how to play guitar a long time ago. Jimmie was the older brother that C never had. Myrna's son Kurt stopped by as well. He had heard that we were visiting his mother and wanted to say hi. It was good to see him.
  It was starting to get late, so we said our goodbyes and went to the car. Myrna hugged me and I hugged her back. I realized that I was no longer mad at her. We had not talked about our falling out, but that was all right.
   As we drove back to our hotel, I thought about how I felt about Myrna now. I decided that I had fully forgiven her. I felt free. I hadn't realized how heavy a load that little bit of anger was. This is what forgiveness is. It's letting go and moving forward. It's giving someone a clean slate and a chance to try again.
 I hadn't really understood what forgiveness felt like. Now I do. It's a good thing.