Dear Alex

  A few weeks ago I read an article about a high school student who is deaf. The article talked about how his backpack was stolen and his possessions were dumped into a toilet. He had been bullied all his life because of his hearing impairment. This was the final straw. He and his mother decided that it was best that he transfer out of that school as he did not feel safe there.
  A Go Fund Me page raised enough money to buy supplies to replace those that had been damaged. There have been a lot of people that have written letters of support to him.
  I can understand where he coming from. I was bullied from fourth grade through high school. I was in special education classes which to many made me "a retard" and fair game. Below is the letter of support I would have written.
  Dear Alex,
   I read about what happened to you and wanted to write. I'm glad that you were able to transfer to a school where you feel you would be safe.
  I was also bullied in school and wanted to share a few thoughts with you. Some of this I'm sure you already know, but it never hurts to repeat it.
  One of the most important things to know is that it isn't your fault. In fact, it has nothing to do with you. You did nothing to deserve being treated with anything less than total respect. Unfortunately there are some people in the world who treat others badly. They may do it because they don't like feeling powerless. They may do it to prove they are tough. They may not want to be picked on themselves and may be doing it to impress someone else. There is also a small population who just plain enjoy hurting others. A bully may have many "reasons" for acting the way he or she does. None of them are good reasons and none of them are acceptable.
  One thing that helped me when I was being bullied was remembering that I still have control over some things. I can't control what the bullies do, but I can control what I do. Most importantly I can control what I think. The bullies can take a lot of things, but they can't take away your right to choose. You do not have to let them dictate to you who you are or what you can do. You don't have to let their negative attitude of you become your negative attitude of you. You can decide that you are strong, capable and smart. You can decide that you will not let them prevent you from getting an education and having a good life. A bully can take your material possessions, can isolate you and distract you. You do not have to let them take more than they already have.
  Another thing that was helpful was to look forward. There is life after high school. What you are going through now is not going to be going on forever. At some point in time everyone will graduate and go their separate ways. You can go somewhere and make a brand new start. That's what I did. Starting over far away can be a little scary, but it gives you a lot of good experience.
   It may be easy to think that everyone hates you. I can understand not feeling safe. When I was in junior high school I carried every book I had to every class because I was afraid that someone would go into my locker (We were not allowed to have locks on our lockers.) and steal or vandalize my books. I would have carried my coat with me too if I could have. Not everyone is a bully and there are many to support you as you have found out. I had some good school counselors that helped me to deal with what was going on. If you feel like you need help, do not hesitate to get it.
  It is possible to survive bullying. It can, however, leave you with some scars. This is all right. Everyone has experiences that scar them in one way or another. A year or so ago a couple that I was acquainted with teased me about an upcoming football game. I reacted badly to it and it was a little embarrassing. After that I avoided that couple as much as I could. I wondered why it was bothering me so much. Everyone else had moved on and forgotten it. A few months ago I figured out why. It felt like bullying to me and I reacted accordingly. I know that they thought they were doing a little bit of trash talking to a fan of a rival football team. They didn't realize that to me it was something completely different.
  I used to wonder what it would have been like if I hadn't been bullied. Maybe I would have gone to prom, dated and done things that other kids do in high school. Maybe I wouldn't have had to deal with some of the challenges in my life that stemmed from that early bullying. There is a flip side to that. Who would I be without those experiences? Would I be the strong person that I am now? Would I have developed the kind of compassion I have for others who have been hurt? I don't know who I would have been, but it would not have been who I am now.
  Look forward Alex and not back. There is a big,diverse world out there. There are lots of things to do and learn and experiences to have. Your future is whatever you want to make of it. A wonderful life lies ahead of you. I know this. I have been there. I'm in my 40s now. I have a husband that I love very much who is supportive of me. We have a nice home. We've got good friends. I have a job that I enjoy most of the time (because no one likes their job all the time...) I do have a good life. You will have a good life too.
   You will get past this. Be strong. Get help if you need it and look ahead.
   Sincerely,
    Sophie