C's Near Miss

  A couple days ago C called me at work. He was a little shaken. He was about to make a left turn to go into the parking lot of the place where we pick up our mail. He hesitated for just a moment before making the turn. It was fortunate for him that he did because a minivan went speeding through the red light. Had he made his turn he would have been T- boned and probably killed.
  I was too  busy to do more than say a few calming words when he called. I filed it in the back of my mind.
  When I drove home  I started to think about what happened. My first thought was anger at the person driving the minivan. Where they unaware that red means stop? Or did they think they were so important that they don't have to obey traffic rules? What was so important that they had no problem mowing down an innocent person like a blade of grass? I wondered if that person knew how close they had come to depriving my stepchildren of their father, my grandchildren of their grandfather and my of my beloved husband? I imagined if an accident had occurred the driver would blithely go on his or her way. Why should they have to stop? My husband had no business making that turn.
  I thought of Gavin, a former boss of mine. One nice day in September a few years ago, his wife was killed by a dump truck driver that failed to yield. He came home from work to find police at his house waiting to tell him what had happened. I felt awful for him and wondered how he could manage without Amy. I had come close to finding out what it was like.
  The thought stayed in the back of my mind. I thanked God for that moment of hesitation that spared C's life. Without it I would have spent my first night was a widow.
   I woke up early in the morning still thinking about that near miss. One thing I have heard is all the regrets that others have had when a loved one dies suddenly. This saddest thing I think a person can say is, "If I had it to over again I would....". I have tried for a long time not to live a life I would regret later. I thought long and hard as I tried to get back to sleep. If C had been hit by that car instead of missed, would I have a lot of regrets?
   There would be some. I'd regret that we didn't have more time to do more things. The important things though, no, not really. C and I have made it a habit not to take each other for granted. I tell him I love him nearly every day and he says the same to me. I try to remember to thank him for the things that he does and to encourage him when he needs it. I show him that I love and care for him. In that respect there would be no regrets. C knows that I love him and I know that he loves me.
   That's a pretty  important gift. It's hard to think that way, but C and I have learned the lesson of not assuming that what we have today we will have tomorrow long ago. The fact that we found each other later in our lives helps too. We don't want to spend out time fighting and being unhappy with each other.
  Fortunately C's near miss wasn't a wake up call. It was a moment of evaluation. A time to think things over. It's good to know that we just need to keep on doing what we've been doing. We are all right.