Thursdays with Dad

 

         For me, one of the best days of the week is Thursday. That is the day I go over to visit my Dad. 

        My siblings and I decided it would be a good idea if my sister and I visited our parents every week. (My brother lives further away and was travelling for his job so we excused him.) Since Thursday was the day I had off most often, it became my regular visiting day.

        The routine we had when Mom died naturally altered.  At first it felt strange not going up to memory care to say hi to her and to help her eat lunch if she wanted to eat. We had an hour or so of extra time with nothing to fill it. 

        At first we spent it talking. I would make myself a cup of tea and we'd visit until it was time to make lunch. Sometimes the conversation would get teary if we talked about Mom. My brother gave Dad a copy of the picture we used in her obituary in a nice frame which he keeps in his living room.

        Lately we've gone grocery shopping. Sometimes we pick up ingredients that we need to make lunch Sometimes he needs to pick up medicine from the pharmacy. Most of the time we need to go to the produce department so he can get some bananas We always walk through the dairy department to see if there is any cheese or butter on sale. 

        I have an ulterior motive for doing this. One is because the grocery store is huge and I like seeing what is there. There is  a brand of we cat food that my cats love so I will sometimes pick up a couple cans for them. I also want to see what kinds of things Dad buys to eat. If there ever comes a time when I have to shop for him, I'll know what he likes.

    Sometimes instead of shopping, I'll bake sugar cookies. Dad likes to have them on hand at all times. I use my grandmother's recipe and dip the tops in turbinado sugar. He prefers it to white sugar on cookies.  Once they are baked I put them in a large cookie jug that Mom had. About once a month his supply runs low and I make a fresh batch.

        After lunch we go for a walk. If it isn't too cold, raining or too windy we go outside. If the weather is bad we walk around the apartment building. He has a route that he likes to take. The route goes up to the third floor where there is always a jigsaw puzzle to work on. We stop and work on the puzzle for a little bit. I hadn't done it in a long time and had forgotten how much I enjoy doing them. 

    Sometimes we have a project to work on. Yesterday I brought a pot of amaryllis bulbs that had started to sprout. We repotted them so each bulb had its own pot. Dad will keep them during the summer and when it starts to get cold, I will winter them in my basement.

    Dad has a large deck. Every year I bring him some petunias and other flowers that we put into pots. He likes to have flowers on his deck. His favorites are petunias.

     Happy Hour starts at 3 so I leave at 2:30 so he can get there in time to get a good seat. There is a group of people he likes to sit with.

        I've come to really enjoy these visits with Dad. We've always been close and since I've grown older we have developed a real friendship. It's never a burden to go there every week to spend time with him and help him with things. I'm very grateful for these opportunities.