Goodbye Helen

 

      Helen, one of the long time members of the Small Town Toastmasters club, had been in poor health for much of the past year. I know that it was heart related and I think had something to do with an autoimmune disorder which was a recent diagnosis. She was being treated at the Mayo Clinic and had been in and out of the hospital there. The last time she was at a meeting she said that she was still weak, but felt like she was turning a corner.

   So it was a surprise when I heard that she had gone back to Rochester. Then Marette, another Toastmaster, stepped by my pharmacy to tell me that Helen was home and in hospice. I knew what that meant. Nearly everyone knows what that means. Everything that could be done for Helen had been nothing and nothing was working. Helen and her family had decided it was time to allow nature to take its course.

   I sent as message to Sandra, our club president. Marette had told her already. We decided to send Helen a card. Sandra wanted to do something more and we decided to do some sort of short video with the Toastmasters group, a sort of goodbye, we love you and thank you. The question was when to do it. We were not meeting before Christmas and the next meeting would be before New Years. Would that be soon enough? Neither Sandy or I knew nor did either of us know anyone who would know.

   A few days later I saw a post on social media written by Helen. She wrote that she was at home, happy and had a new adjustable bed. There were some pictures. She looked good. I felt it would be all right to wait until after Christmas to do the video. Sandra sent a card.

   Then it happened. Yesterday in the early morning hours with one daughter reading a favourite short story to her and her other daughter holding her hand, Helen passed away. She left this life in her own home, in her own bed and surrounded by the family she loved dearly.

   I have very mixed feelings about this. She's been released from whatever suffering she had been experiencing for many months. As a Christian, I believe that death is the end of life here on earth and the beginning of life somewhere else. Helen was a devout Catholic and a genuinely good woman. I believe that she was welcomed home by her Heavenly Father and safe with all her family that had gone before her. 

  On the other hand I am going to miss her. For most of the last 20 years, I saw her every Thursday at Toastmasters. During the summer she would remind us of the farmers market. During Lent she would tell us about the Knights of Columbus fish fry. I watched her from her first speech where she gripped the lectern like a life preserver and wrote all her speeches out to her later offerings where she was much more comfortable.

   She told wonderful stories. Stories about a farm girl from Iowa going to nursing school and then leaving to move to New York right after graduation. She talked about living in New York and meeting her husband. My favourite story was about the shoes that played a role in their courtship. She wore them when they married. I remember her practicing the toast she planned to give at the wedding of one of her daughters. She loved them both and was proud of the women they are. 

   She told stories of her travels. Having tea on a cruise ship and going to Paris with her daughters. She talked about her garden and all the plants in it. 

   I'm going to miss her dismay at forgetting to time speeches or Table Topics because she was so engrossed by the speakers and her constant battle with filler words and starting her sentences with them. She served as our sergeant at arms for many years. During the past year when we met virtually, she would hold up a small American flag when we said the Pledge of Allegiance at the beginning of our meetings.

   Although her life was somewhat short, both her parents were into their 80s before they passed away, I think she lived a full life. She got to see her daughters grow and marry fine men. She had time to work in her beloved garden and spend time with her many, many friends. She was a member of a few organizations that interested her. She got to travel. Most of all she really enjoyed life and was a kind and generous person to all who knew her.

   It's going to be strange not seeing her seated at her computer on Thursday morning calling us all to order to begin our meeting. It will be hard knowing that her cheerful smile will not be seen and her Iowa-New York accent will not be heard among us. I am thankful. I'm thankful that she was a friend. I'm thankful for the plants she gave me. I'm thankful for all the memories she las left behind.

Goodbye Helen, you may be gone but you will never be forgotten.......