A Difficult Year

   In November of 1992, Queen Elizabeth II gave a speech where she referred to the soon to be past year as her "annus horribilis" There were many scandals in the Royal family that year. Then Windsor Castle, where the Queen lived during World War II nearly burned to the ground. It was indeed a very bad year.
  Everyone goes through a rough patch now and again. For C and I this year was in some ways sort of rough. (Although it was not anywhere near as bad as 1992 was for Queen Elizabeth.)
  What made it difficult was that it was a year of transition. A little over a year ago, I changed jobs and started to work part-time. This had a greater affect than I had expected.
  It meant that I was at home more. In many ways this is good. It means that I am able to be at home to clean the house, wash dishes and clothes, in general, to be of more help in the house. We were able to work on projects we wanted to do, like organize the storeroom, plant our garden in a timely manner and spend more time together.
  The other side was that I was home more. Little things that didn't bother us before started to become more noticeable because we are around each other more. When we organized things there were arguments over what should be kept or not.  It turns out that we do not agree on what is valuable and what isn't. C wanted me to get rid of most of my books. He reasoned that I wasn't reading them so there is no need to keep them. I wanted to hang onto the book because I might want to read them someday. I wanted to get rid of old pictures and memorabilia. Do we really need to keep these newspaper clippings? These pictures are of people that are no longer in our lives. We don't need them.
  We eventually came to a compromise. I got rid of a lot of books. He kept his pictures and newspaper clippings.
  I had to get used to having more free time. Time management has always been a challenge for me. Now with more time to manage it became more of a challenge. I would start things and not finish them. I would have work to do and not do it. I can always do it tomorrow, right? There were things I wanted to do, but just somehow couldn't fit them into my day.
   C was suffering from frustrations as well. He started to get into playing pickleball until he hurt his back. Recovering from something like this is a slow process and frustrating for someone who wants to stay in shape. He also struggled with being retired. He's used to being out and among people and seeing the results of his work. he'd stay at home and practice his guitar and work on music. The results were not so clear-cut and his exposure to others was minimal.
  Things are starting to get better. I've taken on some volunteer work and have extra work hours which give me more structure. I'm learning to make a list of what needs to be done that day and finish the list before anything else. C's back has healed well enough for him to do some physical activity and maybe return to pickleball in the fall.
  We spent our anniversary yesterday reflecting on the past year and how we made it through. We walked around a park, a garden, the Mall of America holding hands and talking. We went to a fancy restaurant for dinner last night.
  There will still be challenges, but we feel confident that we can meet them. The past year has shown us that. It was a difficult year, but we made it.