Facing a Fear

   The week before last I got an email. It informed me that I was going to be toastmaster for next week's meeting of the Small Town Toastmaster's club. What this means is that I am the person who leads the meeting for that week.
  The person who sent it wanted to know if she should announce that we would need someone else to lead the meeting. Being toastmaster is a club role that I have successfully ducked for the last 15 or so years. Well, that's not quite true. I have been a co-toastmaster along with another person a couple of times. I thought about it for a minute. Then I answered her. I told her that I would lead the meeting.
   This news came as a great surprise to just about everyone. I'm well known for my aversion to be ing the Toastmaster.
   I decided it would be a themed meeting. The theme would be "facing your fears". Alternatively, members could talk about courage or overcoming adversity. I thought it was a good topic considering what I was about to do.
   I sent out three emails with the agenda and a reminder about the theme. Most of the people responded to let me know if they would be attending and able to fulfil their roles.
   The night before the meeting I had to prepare and print the agenda. This is something I don't like doing. It's not that hard. We have a template and all I had to do was fill in the blanks. Somehow I managed to screw up a margin. In the process of fixing it, I deleted an item from the agenda. I didn't notice it until the meeting.
  One of the speakers called in sick at the last minute. Fortunately, someone wanted to give a speech at the last minute so it worked out.
  The morning of the meeting I was nervous. What if I didn't do a good job? What if I forgot something and offended somebody? What if I looked like a dork?
  In the spirit of the theme, I wore a black knit poncho with a blue turtleneck and jeans. I also wore blue nail polish. I don't normally dress like that because it isn't really age appropriate. However, in the spirit of facing fears, I had to be willing to look ridiculous.
   I worried all the way to the meeting. We got there. I had to make a few adjustments and then the meeting started.
   I started the meeting by explaining why I had not been toastmaster before. Once a long time ago, I had been toastmaster for a meeting. After the meeting, someone took me aside and explained to me all the things I'd done wrong. I know they thought they were being helpful, but that's not how they came across. What I got out of the exchange was that I wasn't  capable. I decided that I wasn't going to do that ever again.
   The meeting went pretty smoothly. I was surprised and happy. I had always thought that the hardest part of being toastmaster was keeping the meeting flowing. It moved along well. The speakers spoke. We had time for Table Topics. I was able to get a few transition stories in between.
   Despite the fact that we going to run slightly over time, I decided to thank all who participated in the meeting. I felt it was important to recognise everyone who helped make the meeting a success.
   It went much better than I expected. I now have one less thing to fear.