Dealing With Dislike

   The last few months I've had some experiences with people that that have bothered me. I've been pondering these experiences wondering why I feel the way I do about them. Besides the fact that they happened within the past few months what do they have in common?
  I finally came to the realization that one thing the incidents had in common is that both the people involved are people I know don't like me. What bothered me was that I felt they were being blatant about it.
  It lead me to thinking that we sometimes don't know how to deal with those we dislike. Technology is allowing us to narrow our circles so many of us don't have to deal with people we dislike.
  As children we are taught to be kind and accepting of others. We are taught to share and to get along. If you happen to be of a Christian faith you are also taught that everyone is your brother or sister and that you have to love them as such.
  What do you do when you run into someone you just can't relate to? You don't get along with them and there is just something about them that bugs you. There are many such in the world and we all, if we are truly honest with ourselves, know a few people that we simply don't like. I personally believe the reason for this is to challenge us and to teach us. How do we deal with it can define the kind of person we are.
  I learned a lesson on how to deal with someone I didn't like when I was in junior high. My archenemy was a guy in my grade named Jon. He disliked me as much as I disliked him. We had an ongoing feud with each other since second grade. It was enough of a problem that the public school system made sure we were not in the same class in grade school. In junior high it was not as easy to keep us apart. We tended to keep our exchanges to dirty looks,sticking our tongues out at each other and calling each other names.
  Jon and his friend Tim got into the habit of walking back and forth in the halls after confirmation class. I felt a little threatened by this and would wait and walk out of the classroom with the teacher. One day I was kneeling at my locker when Jon kicked me in the back with his pointed cowboy boot. It hurt and I was mad.
  The next Sunday my friend Mickey and I waited for Jon. He came out of a classroom and we sprang into action. I plastered Jon against the wall and held him firmly there. Mickey stood behind me to back me up. I got into his face and firmly told him to stop bothering me. Jon tried to kick at me. I released him from the wall and he ran down the hall. Mickey followed him and when she got close enough she would hit him on his backside with her Bible.
  The next Sunday Jon and I were called, separately, into Pastor Johnson's office. Pastor Johnson was a kindly man that I liked very much. He told me that I was to leave Jon alone from now on. I assume Jon was given the same message. From then on there was no trouble.
  I believe that we are losing the ability to deal with those we don't like. Since we don't like them, we don't care about them and we can treat them any way we want. It's an excuse to treat people badly.
  I don't think that is the right way to deal with dislike. No matter how you feel about any given person all people deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. Period. There are those that may argue that treating someone you don't like with kindness is being disingenuous. They will argue that it is better to be authentic and be open about your dislike then to be fake.
  I disagree with this. Being kind to someone despite how you feel is honoring the fact that you are both human. It is rising above and being fair.
  I also think that is it good to be all right with not being liked. I know people who are very bothered if they know that someone doesn't like them. I know three people who definitely don't like me. I'm all right with this. Being a stepmother you get used to the fact that you won't be liked. All I ask of someone who doesn't like me is that they treat me with respect. The reverse is also true, I try to be respectful of those I don't like as well.
  I don't think that is asking too much......