Feeling Fat and Ugly

  A week or so ago I was feeling fat and ugly. Unlike some people I don't freak out when this happens. It's impossible to feel fabulous and confident all the time. It's difficult for some people to feel this way even most of the time. I don't think there is anything wrong for feeling this way for short periods of time. Obviously feeling this way most of the time is called depression and those who have it should seek help.
  The first thing I allow myself to do when I feel this way is to let myself feel this way. I know that sounds weird, but to me it makes sense. It's all right to feel down once in awhile. I know I'm not going to feel this way forever. Feeling down, at least to me, helps me to appreciate those times when I don't feel down.
  Eventually I decide that I don't want to feel this way anymore. I've listed some things that cheer me up and a few things that don't work.
  M&Ms do help many a tough situation, I've found, but they don't work when you feel fat and ugly. It especially doesn't work if you consider how many calories you've just consumed which will make you fatter than you think you are. What works for me is a little exercise. This can be a workout, a walk or dancing around the house to loud music. Sometimes I like to do laundry. This combines exercise with getting some housework done. My washing machine is in the basement so I have to carry laundry baskets up and down the stairs. One thing I like about doing laundry is that the sight of clean clothes and putting clean sheets on the bed makes me happy.
  You may think that looking at Facebook is helpful. Wouldn't looking at all the good things that are going on with all your friends make you happy? For me it's not helpful. I usually wind up seeing posts by "that girl". You know who I am talking about. It's that one person who seems to have the perfect life. Her looks are perfect, her marriage is perfect, her children are always cute and well behaved. She is always taking trips to cool places and posting pictures where everyone is smiling and having a good time.  My challenge is that I tend to compare myself with "that girl". (I suppose there could be "that guy" too) I know it's not fair to compare myself with others and I'm sure "that girl or guy" sometimes feels fat and ugly too. Still it's tempting so I avoid Facebook when I'm feeling fat and ugly. By the way, I don't post that I'm feeling fat and ugly on Facebook because I don't want to look like I'm fishing for compliments.
  Enough about things that don't work, now to list a few things that do. Knitting is one of them. I'm sure you're shocked by that. Crochet works too as does needlepoint. Really anything you do that creates something. I've cheered myself up baking banana bread before. (I sent one loaf to work with C.) Making something tends to get your mind off yourself and into what you are doing. You can't be all that bad if you can make something nice. (even if no one agrees with you)
  The cats tend to cheer me up when I feel fat and ugly. They like me no matter what I look like. It doesn't matter that they only like me because I feed them. They like me. They like to sit on my lap or nearby. Scamp purring in my ear makes me smile. I'm a sucker for a cute, furry cat that purrs in my ear.
  One thing I do is remind myself that I'm fortunate.  I'm healthy. I have a nice house. I have a wonderful husband and a job that I like most of the time. I make enough money to support myself and to travel a little. I have everything that I want or need. There are a lot of people in the world who don't. Some of those people don't live too far away from me.
  If none of this works then I do one last thing. I tell myself that I'm done feeling fat and ugly. I find something that makes me look good and put it on. I decide that I am done feeling bad. I remind myself of who I am, a lovely daughter of God. I wouldn't  tell a stranger who is my size that she's fat and ugly. I shouldn't tell myself this either. (I don't usually have to go to this though, Knitting works most of the time.)
  What was bothering me this last week is that I thought my hair was falling out. It felt thinner than normal. Today I had a talk with my hairdresser. She didn't think my hair was thinning. I could just be going through a shed like all people do or it could be that the new conditioner is making my hair softer which may feel like less hair. Either way I'm happy and I don't feel fat and ugly anymore.