It's Really Wonderful

  A few weeks ago C and I were out at the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum. We usually visit there on Saturdays. During the summer there is at least one wedding and sometimes up to three.
  I was refilling my water bottle at a drinking fountain while watching a group of five bridesmaids in their dresses and sky high heels mingling in the hallway. My mind went back in time to our wedding now nearly twelve years ago. I remembered the stress of planning the wedding, picking out invitations,wondering if the minister would be all right marrying us since neither of us attended services. (My mother insisted on a church wedding.) I looked at those bridesmaids and shook my head. Thank heaven I'll never have to do that again.
  I didn't think that I had spoken, but the grrom overheard me. "What do you mean?" he asked. "You're scaring me." I didn't have time to explain to him what I meant. I said, "Marriage is a wonderful thing. You won't regret it." I pointed to C who was on the other side of the hall. "Ask him, he's my husband." The grrom seemed satisfied and I took my filled bottle and went away.
  I felt bad for scaring the groom. I truly hope that he accepted my explanation. I hope his wedding was a joyous day shared by those that he and he bride had invited. I hope that he and his new wife have a long and happy marriage.
  Since that incident I have though long and hard about what I would have said if I had more time. Today I'd like to share those thoughts with you.
  Getting married today is a complicated affair. There are types of weddings, there are destination weddings, church weddings, barn weddings, backyard weddings and wedding in parks. Not only do you have to choose colours, you also have to choose a theme. Is it a modern wedding, a vintage wedding, a renaissance wedding, a princess wedding etc? Then there are the usual choices of dress, venue, food, music, flowers, guest list and attendants to name a few.
  It's also expensive. According to the wedding planning site, The Knot, the average cost of a wedding in the United States is around 32,000 dollars. The is a 5,ooo dollar increase from five years ago. That's a lot of money. That's more than some people make in a year. I know that a wedding is a special event and that it is a once in a lifetime event. Still I think that is too much to spend on a one day.
 I didn't enjoy planning my wedding. I wanted something simple because I was 35 when I got married. Many of the wedding customs I thought were more appropriate for younger women. I wasn't interested in fancy dresses and attendants and parties and all the fuss that goes into a wedding these days. I did have the church wedding with the big white dress and the silly looking veil to please my mother. The only part I really enjoyed was our reception. We hosted a five course dinner attended by our family and close friends. It was a lot of fun and several people still remembered years later how much fun it was.
  I was much more interested in planning the marriage. That to me was the most important part. We were engaged for a little over a year. The reason for that is because we had a lot of things to discuss. We needed to discuss finances, where we would live and how we would handle situations with my future stepchildren. I knew we couldn't deal with every possible situation that would come up, but I felt is was important to have a rough idea.
  I like being married. Marriage is a wonderful thing when you marry the right person. I love spending time with C. We don't even have to do anything. I like riding in cars with him, I like sitting on the couch with him and I like listening to him practice his instruments.
  I like the partnership we have. I like the fact that we have been able to get through hard times because we have each other to lean on. We have a good life together.
  I guess a good way to summarize my thoughts is to say that I didn't enjoy the wedding, but I do very much enjoy the marriage. It is really wonderful.