Thoughts on Number 11

   This Friday C and I will celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary. I tend to read articles on marriage about this time of year just for fun. Today I'd like to share a few thoughts I have.
  On Sunday one of the speakers at church mentioned that she and her husband had nearly forgotten their wedding anniversary. She received a happy anniversary message from someone that reminded her.
  I must admit I was a little shocked. I can't wrap my head around the concept of forgetting such an important date. How is this possible? To be fair, she and her husband have been married longer than C and I have. They also have children and I can imagine that their busy family life could result in losing track of time and forgetting an anniversary.
  I sometimes wonder if anniversaries become less important when you are certain that there will be many of them. When young couples marry there is a sense of great optimism. They will be together and in love for many, many years.
  C and I met and married much later in life. We hope we will have many years together, but we are also realistic. There will be no 40th or 50th anniversary for us. We have to celebrate every one we are given because we don't know how many we will get.
  The concept of cherishing what we have was brought home to us by two people in our lives. My friend Micky started dating a much older man. She fell in love, truly in love for the first time in her life. Howard was a kind, gentle, thoughtful man. They shared several interests. A month ago he suffered a stroke. There were complications. He died four weeks later. They only had a few months to enjoy what they had. Micky told me several times to hug Charlie and tell him that I love him. She warned me not to take him for granted.
  Last week C's cousin RH died of a sudden heart attack. He left behind a fiancée who is devastated. She had hoped to spend the rest of her life with him. Now she will have to go on, somehow, without him. It was another reminder.
   I was reading an article in which five married women named one thing they think is essential for a successful marriage. There were the usual good communication, sharing chores and being forgiving of each other. If I would have been asked I would have said separate bathrooms.
  I fully believe that part of the reason why C and I have such a good marriage is that we do not share a bathroom. We do not have to fight over who gets to use the shower first. We do not have disagreements over the toilet paper roll, the capping of toothpaste or any minor thing that can plague a marriage. He is free to take care of any personal business he needs to in private without me complaining about the smell. I can keep all my hair care items on the counter without him complaining that I am taking up too much space. I'm grateful that we are able to do this in our house.
  One of the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that a couple can be married to each other forever. Death does not part. These marriages or sealings as they are called are made in the Temple. A Sealer, who conducts these ceremonies, once remarked to a friend of mine that in order for a couple to stay together, they must want to stay together.
  This may seem like a silly thing. Of course you want to stay together. I find it very profound. It's a good test for deciding whether to marry someone or not. Is this a person that you want in your life forever? Would you be willing do work hard in order to stay together? Is person your close friend and most trusted companion? Could you be happy alone in his/her company? If the answer is "no" to any of these questions, you may want to rethink the relationship.
  Happily in my case the answer is a resounding "yes". C and I do have a wonderful relationship. I wish every married couple could have such a marriage as we have. I am happy and grateful to celebrate another anniversary with my beloved C.