Older People

   Once a month or so I teach at the Relief Society Sunday morning meeting. There is a lesson manual that I use. The manuals are teachings of past presidents of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This year we are studying the teachings of President Ezra Taft Benson.
  The lesson that I've been assigned to teach is on the elderly. There couldn't be a more perfect lesson for me. I like hanging around older people. I always have. When I was younger I always preferred to spend time with the parents of the people my age. I was raised Lutheran and looked forward to being confirmed because then it meant that I could attend the adult Bible Study class instead of hanging out with the other high school kids.
  Caring for older family members runs in my family. Both of my parents had grandparents living with them when they were younger. Both of my great-grandfathers on my mother's side of the family were alive when I was young. I remember both of them although my memories are a bit fuzzy. Both of them died before I was old enough to have really strong memories of them. I do know that the first funeral I attended was for Grandpa Sam who was my grandfather's father. There was a lot of ceremony and it seemed to go on for a very long time.
  My first job was as nurse's aid in a nursing home. Before I started working there I was a volunteer. My friend Shelly and I would go to visit the residents. We each had picked out one who was special to us. Shell's special friend was Augie, an elderly man who taught her how to play pool. Mine was Emerald.
  I have no idea how I came to "adopt" Emerald. I remember that she couldn't talk, but we somehow were able to communicate. I would stop by to visit her in her room. Sometimes I would wheel her out into one of the common areas for activities. I remember that I liked her very much.
   My work as a nurse's aid was hard. I was the youngest nurse's aid that the home had hired. I tended to work slower than the other aids. Many of the others would sling the residents around like sacks of cement. I didn't do that. The people I was caring for were someone's mother, father, aunt or uncle. I would not want one of my relatives treated that way so I made it a practice to not treat anyone's relatives that way. I was often criticized for asking for help lifting heavy residents. I asked for help because I didn't want to permanently cripple myself by injuring my back. I didn't bend and I was one of the few workers without some sort of back injury.
  After I got out of college my grandfather, my mother's father, moved in with my parents. After Grandma died, he had started to drink heavily and it was deemed to dangerous to allow him to live alone. Once or twice a month I would pack a suitcase and drive to my parent's house to help care for him. He later broke his hip in a fall and had to move to the same nursing home that I worked at in high school. I was happy to see that most of the staff that had been there before was gone. In fact one of the older and rougher aids was now a resident. I hoped she was treated better than she treated others. I still came to visit at least once a month. My mother and I would eat lunch at the nursing home with him. He died in 1998, ten years after my grandmother died.
   These experiences left me with a deep love and care for older people that has never left. I deplore the attitude of society these days that younger is better. Age is something to be feared and held off at all costs. Nonsense. I would rather sit at the side of an older man or woman and listen to stories of their lives than listen to a group of younger people prattle on about the goings on of today. A woman or man with the lines of age and experience of years on their face has more character and beauty than the face of one who has had many plastic surgeries and Botox.
  Even now most of my close friends are much older than me. One of them has a daughter my age. I'm also blessed to have two elderly women friends. One of them is in her early 90's. I could listen to her for hours.
   If I had my way I'd be like LDS church President Thomas S. Monson who, when he was a bishop, saw to the needs of 87 widows who lived in his ward. The closest I can come to that is to take care of the elderly people who are customers in my pharmacy. About 75% of them are elderly. I do my best to help them with their medications and to let them know that I care about them. I ask how they are doing. I ask after their grandchildren. Some of them travel and I ask about their trips when they return. When they die I send a card to their family.
  Some of them have given me things over the years. I have knitted dishcloths, which in turn inspired me to learn to knit. I have a knitted hat with beading on it. I have a set of wooden salt and pepper shakers made by an elderly man who likes woodworking. Most of all I have all kinds of stories. Stories about riding on streetcars, going on cruises, the early days of the St. Paul Winter carnival and travelling into the south when there was still segregation.
   Many cultures revere and respect older people because they have valuable knowledge gained through long years of experience. I wish ours was one of them.