I Had No Idea

   Lissa and Kevin came to spend Christmas with us. Lissa's mother and I go back a very long way. I have known Lissa all her life.
  The last time I saw her she was 16 years old. She and her mother had come to visit C and me. I was impressed with her. She liked to write,she seemed to be doing well in school and it looked like she was going to have a great future.
  Then she ran away from home. She went to live with her father, a man she had never met. When she realised that wasn't going to work out, she moved to St Louis to work and maybe go to school. Then she moved to Nevada. While she was going through all these moves, she stayed in touch. I felt bad for her. I had hoped that she would graduate from high school and go to college. I wanted her to continue to write and to maybe for once in her life have a little normality.
  Two years ago she called us. She and Kevin had just been married at a drive though wedding chapel. I was furious. She was only 18 years old. Much too young to take on that kind of responsibility. What the heck was she thinking! Marriage is not something you do because you are bored on a Saturday night. Then there was the drive through wedding chapel. You've got to be kidding. Did they decide to get something to eat and decided on wedding rings instead of onion rings? It would never last.
    A little over two years later Lissa called. They were living closer now and wanted to spend Christmas with us. I was happy to hear from her and even happier about getting to see her and meet Kevin.
   They had already arrived when I got home from work on Christmas Eve. Lissa jumped up from the couch and gave me a big hug. Kevin got up from the chaise. I hugged him as well. He is a quiet young man with striking dark brown eyes. I could see why Lissa would fall for him.
  We talked throughout the evening and got better acquainted. The drive through wedding wasn't the impulsive act that I thought it was. Both of them are quite mature for their age.
  We spent most of the next day talking as well. Lissa talked about things I'd given her and places we had gone. I had forgotten quite a bit of it. She still had the lotus flower I gave her the last time she came to visit. She also had a book of Bible stories I had given her as well. She remembered that I used to sing "You got pulled ov-er" whenever I would see a car pulled over on the side of the road. She remembered a host of little things from over the years.
  I was astounded. She had also picked up some of my mannerisms, something I didn't notice until Kevin pointed it out. I couldn't believe it. I hadn't spent that much time with her, but she seemed to be paying attention to everything that I did no matter how small.
  I watched her and Kevin. They act a little like C and I do. I didn't expect to see that. There is a depth to their relationship that isn't typical for people their age. I asked her about it. She paid attention to the people in her life that had good marriages. She wanted a happy marriage and a long lasting one. She didn't want to have one bad marriage after another like her mom.
   How did this happen? I had no idea. I hadn't spent that much with her as she was growing up. I had had some random thoughts about taking her under my wing, being a mentor or something more formal. It never happened. I took a job in Wisconsin and moved. Then she and her mother moved to South Dakota. I felt bad that I never took time to show her things and teach her things.
  It seems I hadn't needed to. All those years when I thought she was an unrepentant, bratty child, she was in fact watching. She was learning. She was paying attention. She was seeing that she could do more. I was an influence, a good influence even though I hadn't really tried to be.
  It made me feel better to know that. I had helped. I had shown her another way. I had made a difference.
  When the time came for them to leave, Lissa didn't want to. She told me that normally when she goes to visit friends or family she is ready to leave after a bit. When she comes to visit me she never wants to leave. I watched them as they packed their things to load in the car. We talked about times from her childhood. Some of the things I knew about some I didn't.
  At one point Lissa turned to Kevin and told him that I was like a mother to her. I felt the guilt that I had felt about her slip from my shoulders. I hadn't known it was there until it gone.
   She is going to be just fine.