Tracking the Cheese

   A college friend of mine and I made a bet of the outcome of the last Packers-Vikings football game. Normally I don't gamble, but I couldn't resist (or chose not to resist). He is as much a die hard Vikings fan as I am a die hard Packer fan. I must admit I admire him for that as the Vikings are a difficult team to stay loyal to lately.
   We decided after a flurry of emails on game day, that the loser would send the winner some sort of ethnic item. As a precaution since my friend is of Norwegian background, I specifically banned him from sending lutefisk.
   After the game was over and the Pack had gained another victory, I decided that I was going to indulge myself and do something I seldom do. I was going to rub it in. To me it is considered bad form to do this. It's bad enough when you teams loses without some jerk jumping around about it.
  I'm much more classy than that. Anytime a Viking fan insists that their team can beat the Pack at will, I wait until Green Bay wins the game and then send the Viking fan a little gift. I send cheese.
  Packer fans and residents of Wisconsin in general are sometimes called "Cheeseheads". At games you will sometimes see fans wearing a hat in the shape of a wedge of cheese on their heads. (For the record, I do own one of these hats, which I take out on special occasions, like when Green Bay is in the Superbowl.) Wisconsin's nickname used to be America's Dairyland, maybe it still is. Wisconsin cheese is the best. (sorry President Campbell) I stock up on it whenever I'm in the state.
  I decided to send my friend the Viking fan a little treat. I went online and looked at several cheese factories. I thought that a giftbox with a nice selection of cheese would be nice for him and his family. I found the perfect box and ordered it.
  Less than an hour later, a message popped into my email box. My cheese had been packaged and was going to be shipped soon. I was pleased. I didn't know how long it would take. Along with the email was another from the shipping company. It had tracking information. I clicked on the link and it told me where my package was and when it should arrive at it's destination. It was really neat. All I had to do was click the link. I didn't have to type or paste in some absurdly long tracking number.
   The next day I looked in on my cheese to see where it was. It had left the factory and was waiting to be shipped to it's next spot. Every day I checked on my cheese to see where it was. It left Wisconsin in the middle of the night and arrived in Minnesota early in the morning. The thought of my cheese sneaking across the border in the middle of the night in a little white box amused me.
  The cheese spent Saturday morning in Minnesota. I hoped that it was being stored appropriately. There are few things worse than frozen,crumbly cheese.
   This was pathetic, I thought to myself. I must be really desperate if I'm gaining enjoyment by tracking a box of cheese. I live in a city with a rich array of music and theatre, down the street from a good public library. What am I doing? Sitting at home tracking a box of cheese and enjoying every minute of it. It's almost as bad as getting a present and playing with the box instead.
  Sunday the cheese was on the move again. It had arrived in Fargo. I imagined it in the truck rumbling along I-94 on its way north and west. I knew that road well. I had driven it many times in college. It has been a long time since I drove that way. I wondered if there is still a Hardees in Alexandria. I used to stop there for a bite to eat.
   I worked all day Sunday and didn't have a chance to check on the cheese until Monday morning. Yes, before I left for work I made time to check on the cheese. It was in Williston, a small city in the northwest corner of North Dakota.The cheese had spent all day Sunday on the long road headed west. It probably stayed on 94 for most of the way. The tracking site had said the cheese would be delivered on Monday. It was going to be right on time. I smiled in satisfaction. Just a few more hours and the cheese would arrive at my friend's door. I sent him a email to let him know when it was coming and to let me know that he got it.
   I got home late from work yesterday. Scamp and Colby were demanding their supper and I was hungry too. After we all had been fed I went to the tracking site. The cheese had been delivered to the front door of my friend's house. I found another email from my friend confirming that the cheese had arrived. He was expecting a wedge, not an assortment. I was happy. The only thing that would have made it better is if I could have included some Packer things in the box. I would definitely have to order from that place again.
   I must admit, I did have sort of a selfish motive in sending the cheese. The bet was that the loser has to send the winner some sort of ethnic item. There' a lot of scary things that he could send me. I'm hoping that if was planning to send some sort of gag item, like picked herring, he'll reconsider. Maybe lefse?