Words and Labels
George Carlin once said there are no bad words. There are bad thoughts and bad intentions, but no bad words. He's right. It isn't the word that's bad, it's the meaning that is given to it.
Words are pretty nebulous when you think about it. A few letters, a few sounds strung together, nothing more than that. It's amazing how much power such a small thing can have.
A few years ago I noticed my coworker, Lana, was upset. I asked her what was wrong. She'd received a note from her daughter's school. It seemed that Meg was having trouble in school and they suggested that Meg attend some special education classes. Lana was upset about this.
"I don't want my daughter in a class with retards," she said.
I smiled inwardly, I knew just what to say, "I was in special ed."
"Wwhat?", she spluttered, "You?....but you're a pharmacist. You went to college! You're smart!"
I nodded my head at the compliment. "True, but I was in special ed from third grade to fifth grade. I had trouble in math,with handwriting and a few other things."
Lana looked at me. I didn't fit the image she had in her mind of a special ed student. She was thinking of students with severe mental or learning challenges. I clearly didn't fit that image.
"Special ed is also for students who need help in certain subjects," I said. "I'm glad that I got the help that I got." Then I walked back to my work station.
Retarded. One word, eight letters long could have kept a young girl from getting help in school. That's pretty powerful.
Words are especially powerful when they are used to label other people. I had often wondered why I was bullied so badly in school. One day it hit me. I was in special ed. In the eyes of my fellow students, some their parents and a few of the teachers, that meant I was retarded. At that time bullying was considered normal. Just kids being kids. Someone who was considered "a retard" was pretty much a safe target at that time.
Those same eight letters changed my life too. I knew that there was more out there and that once I graduated, I could go to college and get away from the people bullying me. I didn't have to accept their label. I could decide who I was and I did. It was a mixed gift that gave me determination that has helped me several times in my life.
We bought the movie, "the King's Speech". In case you haven't seen it, it's about King George VI and Lionel Logue. Lionel Logue was a speech therapist who helped the King (who was the Duke of York at the time) overcome his stammer. During the first part of the movie, members of the royal family and others act a bit dismissive of the Duke due to his inability to speak. They put a label on him that affected his own confidence in himself.
I don't want to ruin the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it yet, but there is one scene that I like quite a bit. The Duke has now become king, when his older brother abdicates and he has to make his first war speech. As he is walking to the room where he is to make the broadcast, Winston Churchill stops to speak to him. Mr. Churchill tells the King that he,too, had a speech impediment, but he had learned to turn it into an asset. To me that is a turning point in the movie. Churchill was known to be a great orator at the time and I think it helped the King to know that he could become a good speaker. He did not have to accept the label that others gave him because of his speech.
You'd think that because of my earlier experiences I wouldn't make assumptions about people due to labels they have. Unfortunately I'm as prone to it as anyone else. C pointed this out to me once when we were talking about high school. C was a star receiver on the football team.
"I would have hated you if we had been in high school together, " I said.
"Why?" C asked.
"You were a football player. You probably would have been one of those macho jocks that enjoy picking on people like me."
"No, I wouldn't. I never picked on anyone while I was in school. I had all kinds of friends from all kinds of backgrounds." he replied.
Touche.
This is the part of the column where I should have a really good conclusion. Unfortunately, I don't have one. People will always label each other good or bad. Maybe it's human nature to do so. A way or figuring out if someone is friend or foe. We just have to try not to make assumptions about others and about ourselves.
Words are pretty nebulous when you think about it. A few letters, a few sounds strung together, nothing more than that. It's amazing how much power such a small thing can have.
A few years ago I noticed my coworker, Lana, was upset. I asked her what was wrong. She'd received a note from her daughter's school. It seemed that Meg was having trouble in school and they suggested that Meg attend some special education classes. Lana was upset about this.
"I don't want my daughter in a class with retards," she said.
I smiled inwardly, I knew just what to say, "I was in special ed."
"Wwhat?", she spluttered, "You?....but you're a pharmacist. You went to college! You're smart!"
I nodded my head at the compliment. "True, but I was in special ed from third grade to fifth grade. I had trouble in math,with handwriting and a few other things."
Lana looked at me. I didn't fit the image she had in her mind of a special ed student. She was thinking of students with severe mental or learning challenges. I clearly didn't fit that image.
"Special ed is also for students who need help in certain subjects," I said. "I'm glad that I got the help that I got." Then I walked back to my work station.
Retarded. One word, eight letters long could have kept a young girl from getting help in school. That's pretty powerful.
Words are especially powerful when they are used to label other people. I had often wondered why I was bullied so badly in school. One day it hit me. I was in special ed. In the eyes of my fellow students, some their parents and a few of the teachers, that meant I was retarded. At that time bullying was considered normal. Just kids being kids. Someone who was considered "a retard" was pretty much a safe target at that time.
Those same eight letters changed my life too. I knew that there was more out there and that once I graduated, I could go to college and get away from the people bullying me. I didn't have to accept their label. I could decide who I was and I did. It was a mixed gift that gave me determination that has helped me several times in my life.
We bought the movie, "the King's Speech". In case you haven't seen it, it's about King George VI and Lionel Logue. Lionel Logue was a speech therapist who helped the King (who was the Duke of York at the time) overcome his stammer. During the first part of the movie, members of the royal family and others act a bit dismissive of the Duke due to his inability to speak. They put a label on him that affected his own confidence in himself.
I don't want to ruin the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it yet, but there is one scene that I like quite a bit. The Duke has now become king, when his older brother abdicates and he has to make his first war speech. As he is walking to the room where he is to make the broadcast, Winston Churchill stops to speak to him. Mr. Churchill tells the King that he,too, had a speech impediment, but he had learned to turn it into an asset. To me that is a turning point in the movie. Churchill was known to be a great orator at the time and I think it helped the King to know that he could become a good speaker. He did not have to accept the label that others gave him because of his speech.
You'd think that because of my earlier experiences I wouldn't make assumptions about people due to labels they have. Unfortunately I'm as prone to it as anyone else. C pointed this out to me once when we were talking about high school. C was a star receiver on the football team.
"I would have hated you if we had been in high school together, " I said.
"Why?" C asked.
"You were a football player. You probably would have been one of those macho jocks that enjoy picking on people like me."
"No, I wouldn't. I never picked on anyone while I was in school. I had all kinds of friends from all kinds of backgrounds." he replied.
Touche.
This is the part of the column where I should have a really good conclusion. Unfortunately, I don't have one. People will always label each other good or bad. Maybe it's human nature to do so. A way or figuring out if someone is friend or foe. We just have to try not to make assumptions about others and about ourselves.
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