Taking it Personally
Someone I know is part of an anti vaccine group on Facebook. Sometimes she comments on posts from this group and because we are friends on Facebook they show up on my page. A week ago or so there was a story about how the pharmaceutical industry manufactures diseases in order to create a market for drugs. She commented that this has been going on for years.
To say I was furious is understating just how angry I was. Thermonuclear pissed (excuse the expression) was more like it. I work hard to help my customers get well and stay that way. To imply that part of my job is to make people sick offends me. Now I know that I do not manufacture drugs, but as a pharmacist I am part of the pharmaceutical industry as part of my job is to distribute prescribed medications. To me it sounded like she believes that the pharmaceutical industry deliberately causes harm to fellow human beings for profit. The thought is obscene.
It took awhile, but I did calm down. This was not targeted at me. The person in question has a deep dislike, almost a hatred of any type of health care that isn't alternative. I know this and her comment should not have surprised me.
C advised me not to take it personally. In this case it was good advice.
It seems to me that there is a rampant use of "don't take it personally." The theory behind it,please correct me if I'm wrong, is that when some one says something hurtful you should tell yourself that it's their opinion/reality/take on the situation. It has nothing to do with you. It is all about who made the statement. If you are hurt or offended then you are "taking it personally" and that is your fault, not the other person.
I don't agree with this. To me it looks like a cop out. It gives license to people to say whatever they want and not take the consequence of their statements. It's the same principle as blaming the victim. (That's exaggerated, I know.) If you are offended/hurt or upset by something and mention this, then you are "being too sensitive", "need to lighten up" or "taking it personally".
I'm not advocating for censorship of speech so that people will not be hurt or offended. The right of free speech includes things that can be offensive. There is no right to not be offended. I am saying that if you say something and it upsets or angers people around you, don't hide behind "don't take it personally." (I would also include "I didn't mean it that way." and "I was misquoted/misunderstood.", but that would be wondering away from the topic.)
Technology has given us many forms of communication,social network groups,texting and instant messaging to name a few. We have more ways of voicing our opinions and thoughts than ever before. There is also opportunity for messages to go to places one would not expect. Messages can go viral. It is a good idea, when posting statements etc. to stop for a minute and think. Is this what I really mean/think/believe? If so, then put it out there.
If someone finds it hurtful or offensive, don't hide behind "don't take it personally." Get their point of view if you like, engage them in a debate (civilly, of course) or agree to disagree. If they decide to quit your group, unsubscribe to your blog or unfriend you, don't accuse them of holding a grudge or being petty. Just as you have the right to speak, they have the right to not listen and to take it personally.
To say I was furious is understating just how angry I was. Thermonuclear pissed (excuse the expression) was more like it. I work hard to help my customers get well and stay that way. To imply that part of my job is to make people sick offends me. Now I know that I do not manufacture drugs, but as a pharmacist I am part of the pharmaceutical industry as part of my job is to distribute prescribed medications. To me it sounded like she believes that the pharmaceutical industry deliberately causes harm to fellow human beings for profit. The thought is obscene.
It took awhile, but I did calm down. This was not targeted at me. The person in question has a deep dislike, almost a hatred of any type of health care that isn't alternative. I know this and her comment should not have surprised me.
C advised me not to take it personally. In this case it was good advice.
It seems to me that there is a rampant use of "don't take it personally." The theory behind it,please correct me if I'm wrong, is that when some one says something hurtful you should tell yourself that it's their opinion/reality/take on the situation. It has nothing to do with you. It is all about who made the statement. If you are hurt or offended then you are "taking it personally" and that is your fault, not the other person.
I don't agree with this. To me it looks like a cop out. It gives license to people to say whatever they want and not take the consequence of their statements. It's the same principle as blaming the victim. (That's exaggerated, I know.) If you are offended/hurt or upset by something and mention this, then you are "being too sensitive", "need to lighten up" or "taking it personally".
I'm not advocating for censorship of speech so that people will not be hurt or offended. The right of free speech includes things that can be offensive. There is no right to not be offended. I am saying that if you say something and it upsets or angers people around you, don't hide behind "don't take it personally." (I would also include "I didn't mean it that way." and "I was misquoted/misunderstood.", but that would be wondering away from the topic.)
Technology has given us many forms of communication,social network groups,texting and instant messaging to name a few. We have more ways of voicing our opinions and thoughts than ever before. There is also opportunity for messages to go to places one would not expect. Messages can go viral. It is a good idea, when posting statements etc. to stop for a minute and think. Is this what I really mean/think/believe? If so, then put it out there.
If someone finds it hurtful or offensive, don't hide behind "don't take it personally." Get their point of view if you like, engage them in a debate (civilly, of course) or agree to disagree. If they decide to quit your group, unsubscribe to your blog or unfriend you, don't accuse them of holding a grudge or being petty. Just as you have the right to speak, they have the right to not listen and to take it personally.
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