Trying out her wings
Carrie announced her intention to move out at the end of the month about four weeks ago. My first reaction was to try to talk her out of it. I didn't think it was a good idea.
Part of the reason why she moved in in the first place was to save money and so that she could concentrate on her studies without having to worry about anything else. The program she is in is fairly difficult. She would not be able to work a part or even three quarter time job and maintain the grades she needs to to keep her scholarships.
My cold practical side was not happy with the fact that she would need to use her savings to pay rent and living expenses. What would happen if she needed that money for school next year, I wondered. What if her financial aid next year would not be enough to cover her needs? Did she think this over at all?
I worried that it was something I said or did. I know this sounds really silly, but as a stepmother I worry about this stuff once in awhile. I worried that other people were influencing her to do something that was not in her best interest.
Then I listened to why she wanted to go. While we don't live in outer Mongolia, it does take time to get to the U from here. Sometimes her rehearsals run late and the buses don't run as often. Plus it is much less safe. She felt isolated and wanted to experience college life the way C and I did when we were in school. She had been told by her teachers that she wasn't bringing as much energy into her performances as she used to.
These are all good points. She had thought this through, it was not some spur of the moment decision.
Another thought occurred to me. The program she is in has a study abroad component. This means that next year she will be spending some time in England. She'll be living there for a few months.
Then I was glad she decided to move. She will need to learn how to manage on her own and it is better that she start learning here. It is scary enough going to a foreign country to live (even if they do speak the same language). It is even more scary if you've never been on your own and then have to live on your own for the first time in a foreign country. I had underestimated her.
The past week or so she's been making lists and gathering her things. I've been helping her a bit. (That reminds me. I need to find those sheets I promised.) Today some friends of hers are coming to help her move her things. A good idea since another blizzard is coming at the end of the week. She's a bit nervous which I can understand, change is sometimes scary. I have every confidence in her though. It's time for her to try out her wings. I know that she is going to soar.
Part of the reason why she moved in in the first place was to save money and so that she could concentrate on her studies without having to worry about anything else. The program she is in is fairly difficult. She would not be able to work a part or even three quarter time job and maintain the grades she needs to to keep her scholarships.
My cold practical side was not happy with the fact that she would need to use her savings to pay rent and living expenses. What would happen if she needed that money for school next year, I wondered. What if her financial aid next year would not be enough to cover her needs? Did she think this over at all?
I worried that it was something I said or did. I know this sounds really silly, but as a stepmother I worry about this stuff once in awhile. I worried that other people were influencing her to do something that was not in her best interest.
Then I listened to why she wanted to go. While we don't live in outer Mongolia, it does take time to get to the U from here. Sometimes her rehearsals run late and the buses don't run as often. Plus it is much less safe. She felt isolated and wanted to experience college life the way C and I did when we were in school. She had been told by her teachers that she wasn't bringing as much energy into her performances as she used to.
These are all good points. She had thought this through, it was not some spur of the moment decision.
Another thought occurred to me. The program she is in has a study abroad component. This means that next year she will be spending some time in England. She'll be living there for a few months.
Then I was glad she decided to move. She will need to learn how to manage on her own and it is better that she start learning here. It is scary enough going to a foreign country to live (even if they do speak the same language). It is even more scary if you've never been on your own and then have to live on your own for the first time in a foreign country. I had underestimated her.
The past week or so she's been making lists and gathering her things. I've been helping her a bit. (That reminds me. I need to find those sheets I promised.) Today some friends of hers are coming to help her move her things. A good idea since another blizzard is coming at the end of the week. She's a bit nervous which I can understand, change is sometimes scary. I have every confidence in her though. It's time for her to try out her wings. I know that she is going to soar.
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