Putting it into Perspective
I was having a stressful week. Cooking for company at Christmas, working trying to keep the house neat. Worrying the the gifts I ordered would not come on time. Hoping that I would have enough Christmas cookies for Christmas.
We were planning to have a small party on New Years Day. The house was a mess. I wasn't sure how many were coming. I wasn't sure what I would feed them or when I would buy groceries since the weather was supposed to be bad. C was working overtime and unable to help. I didn't need the cats to have an accident in the living room, but that is exactly what happened.
I'm not sure why two healthy cats would choose to relieve themselves in a corner of the living room when they have three perfectly good litter boxes that would be much better. They are electing to stay silent on the matter so I will never know.
Before going to the Internet for information on how to rid my house of the smell I went to Facebook. There was a message from Lissa.
Lissa, you may remember, is the daughter of a close friend of mine and I think of her as my niece. She married her boyfriend, Kurt, in a drive thru wedding chapel. A few weeks ago C got a message from her. She wanted him to call her. She was in trouble. Ten little fingers and ten little toes trouble to be exact. It took us a moment before we realised that she was telling us that she was pregnant.
She was right to be a bit worried. Almost 20 years old, married for less than two months and recently unemployed, this looked like bad timing. Kurt is a freelance welder and did not have a steady job. She wondered how they were going to manage this. There were no thoughts of fun baby showers, cute new maternity clothes and being the center of attention. Instead she and Kurt wondered how they would provide for a child when they were having trouble providing for themselves.
Which brings me to the message. Liss was having some cramping and bleeding issues and wound up in the hospital. A few checks showed that the baby was fine and an ultrasound showed a tiny head and body. The doubts that they had were gone. They were looking forward to being parents and got a frame for the ultrasound. The first picture of their first child. They took it to a small party at Kurt's parent's house.
The pain came back and they went home and went to bed thinking some rest would be helpful. During the night the pain got worse and Lissa miscarried. She said they were so excited about becoming parents and this new life they had seen. Suddenly it was over.
It hit me like a bucket of cold water. The things I was fussing about seemed quite small and trivial. The carpet could be cleaned and things would get done. Nothing bad happened to me, C, Scamp,Colby or any other family members. We were doing well.
I didn't know how to reply to the message. I've never had a child and never will. I don't know what it is like to harbor a life that you helped to create and then be confronted with the sudden end of that life. Saying things like, "You'll have another." or "There is plenty of time." seem pretty trivial. "I'm sorry", doesn't seem to be enough. The fact is that this was their first. They may have other children, but this will always be their first.
I let C take the lead. He always seems to know what to say when I don't. Lissa ended her message by saying that she and Kurt were taking comfort in the fact that their child is being cared for by God. C sent a reply of agreement.
All of us have times when we fuss and stress over things that in the end don't mean much. I tend to do this all too often. At those times,I find one big thing that makes my little "worries" look like the small and pointless things they are and puts them into perspective.
We were planning to have a small party on New Years Day. The house was a mess. I wasn't sure how many were coming. I wasn't sure what I would feed them or when I would buy groceries since the weather was supposed to be bad. C was working overtime and unable to help. I didn't need the cats to have an accident in the living room, but that is exactly what happened.
I'm not sure why two healthy cats would choose to relieve themselves in a corner of the living room when they have three perfectly good litter boxes that would be much better. They are electing to stay silent on the matter so I will never know.
Before going to the Internet for information on how to rid my house of the smell I went to Facebook. There was a message from Lissa.
Lissa, you may remember, is the daughter of a close friend of mine and I think of her as my niece. She married her boyfriend, Kurt, in a drive thru wedding chapel. A few weeks ago C got a message from her. She wanted him to call her. She was in trouble. Ten little fingers and ten little toes trouble to be exact. It took us a moment before we realised that she was telling us that she was pregnant.
She was right to be a bit worried. Almost 20 years old, married for less than two months and recently unemployed, this looked like bad timing. Kurt is a freelance welder and did not have a steady job. She wondered how they were going to manage this. There were no thoughts of fun baby showers, cute new maternity clothes and being the center of attention. Instead she and Kurt wondered how they would provide for a child when they were having trouble providing for themselves.
Which brings me to the message. Liss was having some cramping and bleeding issues and wound up in the hospital. A few checks showed that the baby was fine and an ultrasound showed a tiny head and body. The doubts that they had were gone. They were looking forward to being parents and got a frame for the ultrasound. The first picture of their first child. They took it to a small party at Kurt's parent's house.
The pain came back and they went home and went to bed thinking some rest would be helpful. During the night the pain got worse and Lissa miscarried. She said they were so excited about becoming parents and this new life they had seen. Suddenly it was over.
It hit me like a bucket of cold water. The things I was fussing about seemed quite small and trivial. The carpet could be cleaned and things would get done. Nothing bad happened to me, C, Scamp,Colby or any other family members. We were doing well.
I didn't know how to reply to the message. I've never had a child and never will. I don't know what it is like to harbor a life that you helped to create and then be confronted with the sudden end of that life. Saying things like, "You'll have another." or "There is plenty of time." seem pretty trivial. "I'm sorry", doesn't seem to be enough. The fact is that this was their first. They may have other children, but this will always be their first.
I let C take the lead. He always seems to know what to say when I don't. Lissa ended her message by saying that she and Kurt were taking comfort in the fact that their child is being cared for by God. C sent a reply of agreement.
All of us have times when we fuss and stress over things that in the end don't mean much. I tend to do this all too often. At those times,I find one big thing that makes my little "worries" look like the small and pointless things they are and puts them into perspective.
So sorry to hear of your friends loss..My daughter Julie lost hers at 13 weeks. She was quite upset for a while,but she is a strong person and rebounded ok. It IS hard to know what to say, just be comforting and be there for them is the best you can do. The Church teaches that the spirits who do not get to be born are such wonderful ones that they need not go through the trials of earth living. A wonderful thought..
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