Real Love
I saw a post on Facebook from a friend of a friend talking about how she was going to wait for Prince Charming to carry her away, love, cherish and spoil her like she deserves.
It may be that I am turning into something of a middle aged grump, but I have little respect for such childish notions. I'm also scornful of the idea of the soul mate. That one person that was meant just for you. If you find this person you will marry and live happily forever. Barf.
I've always been very disdainful of the whole idea of Prince Charming or anyone sweeping a woman off her feet. You can't get anywhere if your feet are not on the ground and eventually the person doing the carrying is going to get tired. It has to be two people walking together towards the same goal.
My favourite example of what a good marriage should be starts with a woman named Elizabeth Wallace. Her mother was the daughter of one of the wealthiest men in town. Her father struggled to support his wife in the style to which she had become accustomed and deserved. Unable to do so he struggled with depression and eventually killed himself when Elizabeth was in her teens.
I had read that Elizabeth, seeing how her mother was no support to her father in his struggles, vowed that she would be a partner to whomever she married and not a dependent.
She eventually became engaged to a local boy before he went to fight in World War I. They married when he returned. He went into business with a friend from the war. The business failed and the couple spent many years paying off the debts from that venture. Her husband was elected as a judge and gained a reputation for manging the county affairs well. He went into politics where he was elected Senator and Vice President eventually becoming President Harry S. Truman.
Throughout their marriage she assisted him in his duties while caring for their daughter and her reclusive mother. It was not a bed of roses. She did not like the very public life in the White House and much preferred the anonymity of the Senator's wife. She chided him for his bad language, helped him as a clerk in his office and supported him. Despite the fact that she may not always have liked the turns that her husband's political career took ,she was right there with him.
That is what real love is. It may be nice to have a man that is so good looking that all your friends are jealous, wealthy enough to buy all kinds of nice things and take you to expensive places and showers you with near constant attention. It may be nice for a time, but it's not real love.
Real love is the guy that's there for you when your cat dies, when you've had a bad day at work and when all the make-up in the world can't make you feel pretty. It's the guy who thinks you look great first thing out of bed in the morning, tells you he is proud of you for keeping to your exercise routine, get up early to go to the Farmer's Market with you and surprises you with an Easter basket complete with your favourite dark chocolate.
This is the guy that you sometimes pick up after, tells corny jokes that you laugh at and forgets to do something you ask him to do. He may not be able sweep you off your feet (back problems you know) and the six pack abs may not be visible anymore,to you he is still a handsome man. (Especially when he wears those certain clothes you like)
You hold each other in bad times, celebrate during the good times and enjoy getting lost when one of you misreads the map. You enjoy being together even if itis just running errands. That, my friends, is love. Real, lasting, good love.
Happy Anniversary C.
( Some of the material in this column was taken from the Harry S. Truman Library and Museum website.)
It may be that I am turning into something of a middle aged grump, but I have little respect for such childish notions. I'm also scornful of the idea of the soul mate. That one person that was meant just for you. If you find this person you will marry and live happily forever. Barf.
I've always been very disdainful of the whole idea of Prince Charming or anyone sweeping a woman off her feet. You can't get anywhere if your feet are not on the ground and eventually the person doing the carrying is going to get tired. It has to be two people walking together towards the same goal.
My favourite example of what a good marriage should be starts with a woman named Elizabeth Wallace. Her mother was the daughter of one of the wealthiest men in town. Her father struggled to support his wife in the style to which she had become accustomed and deserved. Unable to do so he struggled with depression and eventually killed himself when Elizabeth was in her teens.
I had read that Elizabeth, seeing how her mother was no support to her father in his struggles, vowed that she would be a partner to whomever she married and not a dependent.
She eventually became engaged to a local boy before he went to fight in World War I. They married when he returned. He went into business with a friend from the war. The business failed and the couple spent many years paying off the debts from that venture. Her husband was elected as a judge and gained a reputation for manging the county affairs well. He went into politics where he was elected Senator and Vice President eventually becoming President Harry S. Truman.
Throughout their marriage she assisted him in his duties while caring for their daughter and her reclusive mother. It was not a bed of roses. She did not like the very public life in the White House and much preferred the anonymity of the Senator's wife. She chided him for his bad language, helped him as a clerk in his office and supported him. Despite the fact that she may not always have liked the turns that her husband's political career took ,she was right there with him.
That is what real love is. It may be nice to have a man that is so good looking that all your friends are jealous, wealthy enough to buy all kinds of nice things and take you to expensive places and showers you with near constant attention. It may be nice for a time, but it's not real love.
Real love is the guy that's there for you when your cat dies, when you've had a bad day at work and when all the make-up in the world can't make you feel pretty. It's the guy who thinks you look great first thing out of bed in the morning, tells you he is proud of you for keeping to your exercise routine, get up early to go to the Farmer's Market with you and surprises you with an Easter basket complete with your favourite dark chocolate.
This is the guy that you sometimes pick up after, tells corny jokes that you laugh at and forgets to do something you ask him to do. He may not be able sweep you off your feet (back problems you know) and the six pack abs may not be visible anymore,to you he is still a handsome man. (Especially when he wears those certain clothes you like)
You hold each other in bad times, celebrate during the good times and enjoy getting lost when one of you misreads the map. You enjoy being together even if itis just running errands. That, my friends, is love. Real, lasting, good love.
Happy Anniversary C.
( Some of the material in this column was taken from the Harry S. Truman Library and Museum website.)
Comments
Post a Comment