Photograph
If you look at my profile on Facebook you would see a picture of one or both of our cats. The reason for this is because I dislike all pictures of myself.
Actually there are three good pictures of me in existence. One of them was taken when I stood up for a friend of mine at her wedding. I'm wearing a very flattering cherry red tea length dress. My hair is just above my shoulders and curly. I have a comb with a red and white flowers holding back my hair on the left side. The other was taken at Lambeau Field in Green Bay Wisconsin a few years back. It is a picture of C and I from the neck up wearing Packer ball caps. I'm wearing a yellow Lambeau Field sweatshirt. The last are any pictures of me from our wedding. (Only the ones that are from the waist up, I don't like any of the full length ones.) I don't think the wedding pictures should count though, I had a professional hair and make up job. Anyone would look good if a professional did their hair and make up. That's how Glamour Shots makes their money. (Seriously,have you ever seen an ugly Glamour Shot picture?)
It's not that I think I'm ugly. In person I'm not bad looking. (At least I don't think I am) The problem is that I don't photograph well.
I'll give you two examples. When my sister got married I stood up with her and wore a lavender empire waist dress. It had spaghetti straps. It came with a scarf that I wore around my neck with the ends hanging down my back. My hair was pulled back and had about 12 stephanotis flowers making sort of a headband from ear to ear. My Mom and sister said I looked good.
When I saw the wedding pictures I didn't know whether to cry or throw up. I looked horrible. The dress hung on me and since it didn't have a defined waist it looked like a maternity dress. I looked like I had the same upper arms as Popeye (without the tattoo). My hair looked like a scrub brush in the back. I still feel sick looking at the pictures. I was mad at my Mom and sister for letting me look that bad in public. They said I looked good.
My wedding pictures turned out better, except for the full length ones. On those I look like a bell with the clapper on the wrong end. That's my fault though. I probably should have spent more time looking for dresses and I should have gone with someone other than my Mom and sister. (who aren't really reliable)
I'm a bit envious of my stepchildren. They have hundreds of pictures of themselves on Facebook and all of them look good. I don't think you could take a bad picture of them. It's amazing. They like taking pictures of themselves and their friends and are naturals at it. Even the candid shots look great. It's not fair.
Sometime within the next few months to years I would like a new family picture taken. The last one we have is from our wedding. Carrie and Carmen were unable to attend and were not in the picture. There was a hastily snapped photo or two from Jake's wedding, but nothing formal.
I don't want to be in them. I have a few ways to get around it. I can sneak behind someone taller at the last minute, ask the photographer to Photoshop (airbrush) me out of the picture or refuse on religous grounds. ( not sure if that would work though) Just in case I will have my hair and make up professionally done.
Actually there are three good pictures of me in existence. One of them was taken when I stood up for a friend of mine at her wedding. I'm wearing a very flattering cherry red tea length dress. My hair is just above my shoulders and curly. I have a comb with a red and white flowers holding back my hair on the left side. The other was taken at Lambeau Field in Green Bay Wisconsin a few years back. It is a picture of C and I from the neck up wearing Packer ball caps. I'm wearing a yellow Lambeau Field sweatshirt. The last are any pictures of me from our wedding. (Only the ones that are from the waist up, I don't like any of the full length ones.) I don't think the wedding pictures should count though, I had a professional hair and make up job. Anyone would look good if a professional did their hair and make up. That's how Glamour Shots makes their money. (Seriously,have you ever seen an ugly Glamour Shot picture?)
It's not that I think I'm ugly. In person I'm not bad looking. (At least I don't think I am) The problem is that I don't photograph well.
I'll give you two examples. When my sister got married I stood up with her and wore a lavender empire waist dress. It had spaghetti straps. It came with a scarf that I wore around my neck with the ends hanging down my back. My hair was pulled back and had about 12 stephanotis flowers making sort of a headband from ear to ear. My Mom and sister said I looked good.
When I saw the wedding pictures I didn't know whether to cry or throw up. I looked horrible. The dress hung on me and since it didn't have a defined waist it looked like a maternity dress. I looked like I had the same upper arms as Popeye (without the tattoo). My hair looked like a scrub brush in the back. I still feel sick looking at the pictures. I was mad at my Mom and sister for letting me look that bad in public. They said I looked good.
My wedding pictures turned out better, except for the full length ones. On those I look like a bell with the clapper on the wrong end. That's my fault though. I probably should have spent more time looking for dresses and I should have gone with someone other than my Mom and sister. (who aren't really reliable)
I'm a bit envious of my stepchildren. They have hundreds of pictures of themselves on Facebook and all of them look good. I don't think you could take a bad picture of them. It's amazing. They like taking pictures of themselves and their friends and are naturals at it. Even the candid shots look great. It's not fair.
Sometime within the next few months to years I would like a new family picture taken. The last one we have is from our wedding. Carrie and Carmen were unable to attend and were not in the picture. There was a hastily snapped photo or two from Jake's wedding, but nothing formal.
I don't want to be in them. I have a few ways to get around it. I can sneak behind someone taller at the last minute, ask the photographer to Photoshop (airbrush) me out of the picture or refuse on religous grounds. ( not sure if that would work though) Just in case I will have my hair and make up professionally done.
Comments
Post a Comment