Different

 

    After I was released as a counselor in Relief Society, I was asked to be one of the women who teach at Relief Society Sunday meetings.  I was happy about that request because teaching is something I like to do and it fits in much better with my schedule.

   The lessons we teach are taking from talks given by church leaders at the General Conferences which are held twice a year. This morning I realized that I would be teaching in a couple weeks and that I should listen to the talk I chose so I could begin to plan my lesson.

   A few minutes into the talk, I wondered why I had chosen it. It was about discrimination and the need to treat all people with dignity and kindness. Clearly I had not put any thought into choosing this lesson. What could I, a white woman of a certain amount of privilege, teach a class of other white women with as much or more privilege? What would the few women of minority cultures think of my teaching this lesson? Clearly I have no credibility on this subject. The few instance of discrimination I encountered as a woman and as a single person when I first started working are not enough to speak as any kind of authority on the subject.

   Nervously, I listened to the rest of the talk. What was I going to do? I can't speak about discrimination. Then I realized the lesson was also about the need to treat people with dignity and kindness. That is something I can talk about.

   When I was in school starting at about third grade and ending at graduation, I was bullied. Most of the bullies were classmates and members of the football team. A few of them were teachers. For years I wondered why I was bullied. My family was a typical middle class family. The only thing that might have made us different was that my parents were not from the town we lived in. I struggled to understand why. Then a few years ago it hit me. I was a special education student.

   In the language of early 1980s southern Minnesota, that meant I was a "retard" and therefore safe to bully. "Retards" were stupid and didn't understand you were insulting them. Plus they probably didn't have feelings anyway.

  Instantly I felt better about my lesson. I definitely know how it feel to be treated badly because I happened to be different from other people. I can teach this lesson both as someone who has been treated badly by others and someone who needs a reminder to see people for the children of God that they are.

  After I had finished watching the talk, I sat for a minute filled with gratitude. Those years at school were horrible and I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone, but if I could take what happened during that time and use it to teach others, then it could be used for good.