Grateful

 


   I was surfing You Tube looking for a video to listen to as I brewed a pot of tea. One of the videos that came up was a conversation between Anderson Cooper and Stephen Colbert on the subject of grief. I was curious so I watched it. The two men discussed the fact that both of them had lost their fathers at early ages. Anderson's father died when he was 11. Stephen's father and two brothers died in a plane crash when Stephen was ten.

   One thing caught my ear. At one point in the conversation, Stephen remarked that you sometimes have to be grateful for the things that you wish had not happened. I stopped to ponder that for a moment. You have to be grateful for the things that you wish had not happened.

  Grateful, for the things you wish had not happened. That doesn't make any sense. There is a reason why you wish something had not happened. Stephen went on to explain that these can be a gift. Something that helps you later on in life.

   I'm sure he didn't realize it, but the word "gift" is an appropriate term. Gift in German means poison, venom, toxin or bane.(Which is why I never give anyone a gift, only presents.) Something you wish had not happened is a bane in your life that can eventually become a gift (English definition) that can help you through life or that you can use to help others.

  I thought about the things in my life that I wish had not happened. I wish I had not been bullied. I wish that I could have had the more normal kind of high school experience. Things like going to prom, going to football games, attending dances and parties or maybe even dating. What was the gift I got from this experience? I learned how to handle bullies, I developed compassion for those who are getting picked on. I learned to be determined and to fight my way through things. Would I have these things without the bullying? Possibly not.

   I wish I hadn't spend four years in an emotionally abusive relationship. (This was before I met C.) What gift did I get from that relationship? I have compassion for other women who are in abusive relationships. I understand why some of them can't or won't leave. I got to travel to Europe. I learned what an abusive relationship looks like so I don't get into another one. Would I have known these things without being in that relationship? Definitely not.

  I wish I had not been working the night my pharmacy was robbed. What gift did I get out of that experience? I could be supportive of my coworker who was in that situation a few years later. My support meant more to my coworker because I had been there and I understood.

  Yes, I am grateful for all these things that I wish didn't happen and a few more that I have not listed. Honestly, I would not be who I am now without these experiences. I might not have been able to do some of the things I've done without those experiences. They are truly gifts in both meanings of the word.

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