Doing Nothing

   I was brushing my teeth a week or so ago. while I brushed I was watching a scroll of trending news on my Ipad.  A couple of the news items mentioned a certain movie producer who was sexually harassing women for many years.  I stopped one of the stories to read the entire article. It was an article about a director who worked with the producer. He had known about the misdeeds of this man for many years. He had heard first-hand accounts of the some of what this producer did to women he came in contact with. At the time, the director did nothing. The article talked about how he regretted his inaction and had pledged to donate money to a women's organization to make up for it.
  I was instantly furious. Why did he speak out now? It was a little too late. Why couldn't he have spoken up a little sooner when it actually could have done some good and maybe spared a few women from having to become victims.
   Unfortunately, I know both sides of this story. In seventh grade home ec class, I was groped and poked from neck to waist by three male classmates. Our assignment was to sew a button onto a piece of cloth. I remember pushing and gently slapping away the hands of my classmates as I tried to complete the assignment.
   At the time it was treated as a case of boys being boys. No big deal. No harm was done. Many years later I realized that harm had been done. I have developed a whole host of coping mechanisms some healthy and some unhealthy to make sure it doesn't happen to me again. (I checked the Minnesota state statutes. What happened is now considered sexual assault.)
   As bad as the actual incident was there was one thing that made it worse. It happened in full view of a teacher who sat at her desk and did nothing. Actually, she did do something. She chided me for being disruptive. Disruptive? I was trying to keep three boys from poking and groping me. Yet, I was the problem, not the boys. On top of knowing that my male classmates could invade my personal space and touch whatever they wanted came with the knowledge that no one was going to stop them or protect me. I was going to have to protect myself, which lead to another whole host of healthy and unhealthy behaviours since that time.
  I can also see the director's point of view.
  Fast forward many years. I was acting pharmacy manager at a store in southern Minnesota. One of the relief pharmacists I worked with was a man I'll call Bob. Bob was a strange man. He always wore the same clothes to work. He called me "young lady" for the first few days I had to work with him. I finally told him that I would only answer him if he used my name. There was something about him that was very odd. I was a little uncomfortable around him. However, he did his job and was the only one willing to help us out when we were short staffed.
   One day he he backed my tech, Amy, into a shelving area where we keep our inventory. He backed her into a corner and asked her what she would do if he came closer. Without hesitation Amy answered him. She told him that she would scream. He backed away.
  When Amy told me about this, I was concerned. Was she all right? She was fine, just seriously annoyed. We both got back to work.
    What I failed to do that day has haunted me off and on for the rest of my life. What Bob did was harassment and I should have reported it. I should not have swept it under the rug. I should not have blown it off. The fact that no one was hurt was irrelevant. I had not protected Amy. I had shown Bob that what he did was acceptable. It wasn't.
     After I left the company, I would sometimes come in contact with other former employees. I would ask about Bob. Some of them knew of him. I did find out from one person that enough complaints about inappropriate behaviour were made and he was fired.
    It didn't make me feel any better about my inaction. Had I spoke up and done the right thing at the time, I might have prevented other women from being victimized by Bob's actions. Instead I protected him, just like that teacher did to my classmates long ago.
   I decided that I was not going to let that happen again. If I saw something wrong, I was going to speak out. Even if my actions won't make a difference in the long run, I can at least make it plain where I stand. There is a quote that I like by Edmund Burke. " The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." History has proven this quote to be true. I no longer wanted to be one of the good people who stands by and does nothing.