I'm OK with myself

   Last week I was accidentally assigned the role of Toastmaster for the next week's meeting. I'm sure this was an accident, because every Vice President of Education in our club has known not to assign me to this role.
  I knew that I needed to find someone else to take this role. The upcoming week was my long week and I would not have a day off until the Friday after the meeting. I would not have time to look at emails or make an agenda because I had two 12 hour days in that time span. Fortunately for me I was called on to do a Table Topic. I was asked how I would run a meeting as Toastmaster. I took the opportunity to make a plea for a replacement.
  One of the members was going to step up with one condition. I would, at some point in time, need to take the Toastmaster role. Then Dana offered to take it instead. Her condition was that I take on the role that she would assign to me.  I accepted her offer.
  The first person who offered apologized to me for putting me on the spot. She didn't need to. I wasn't upset. I knew that she meant well. She wanted to me stretch myself, try something new, get out of my comfort zone.
   One of the things that bothers me about our culture is this interest in fixing what is considered to be a flaw. If you are an introvert then you need to become an extrovert. If you're an extrovert then you need to pull it back just a little. If you are quiet then you need to speak up and if you are loud then you need to be more focused. You need to develop leadership abilities, the ability to sell anyone anything and the ability to be charming and affable.
  There are all kinds of books and gurus out there who can help you to fix your flaws. Then you will be happier, have more friends and close more deals.
  Don't get me wrong. I'm all for growth and learning new things. I have no problem with stretching myself when I need to. I've been out of my comfort zone a time or two.
  What I don't like is this pressure to look at your weaknesses and focus on making them strengths. What's wrong with taking your strengths and using them? Why can't I take the strengths that I have and find creative ways to use them? It almost feels like it's not all right to be comfortable with who you are.
  I have a problem with that. We are already awash in "shaming". There is body shaming, religion shaming and behavior shaming.
  I think that the ability to be comfortable with yourself is a gift. It took me a long time to come to terms with a few facts about myself. I'm not going to be tall or thin. I'm not going to have perfect eyesight without contacts or glasses. I'm never going to be good at small talk and most of the time I'm too serious.
  Instead of focusing on developing "leadership ability", I focus on leading by example. I seem to be good teacher and am patient with those learning a new skill. I focus on being a good follower for the person who is leading. Instead of being a good talker I use my ability to be a good listener.
  To me this is a better way to live. Instead of being endlessly dissatisfied with myself, I find satisfaction out of using my strengths. Instead of spending time focusing on my weaknesses, I use my time to figure how to use my strengths to get things done.
  It's all right to have weaknesses. It makes people more interesting. I believe it also fosters a sense of cooperation. A good group is one where everyone has different strengths and weaknesses and uses that diversity to get things done.
  Let's focus a little more on what we are good at and a little less on what we are not.  If we do this we might find we are happier people.