Just Pick Up The Phone

   Every day on my day off, I draw up a "to do" list in the morning. The list has all kinds of items. It could be running errands, paying bills, doing things around the house. Today's to do list has two phone calls that I needed to make. I had also indicated that they needed to be done in the morning.
  I did several items on the list. I completed an online training course for work. I did a continuing education lesson even though it wasn't on the list. I was about to start writing this post when it occurred to me that I had better make those two phone calls. My stomach started to churn and my hands started to shake and get cold.
  I know it sounds odd, but I get nervous when I have to make phone calls. This is really bizarre because I make phone calls all the time at work. It's not that hard. All you have to do is pick up the phone. I've determined that it's all right if I'm calling somewhere or someone that I know. It's a completely different matter if I'm calling somewhere I've never called before.
  I couldn't put those calls off. One call was to make an appointment. The other call was to get some information. There really wasn't anything scary about that. It's not like either place is a scary place. Both places were used to phone calls from people who needed to make appointments or were requesting information. I would be following normal procedure.
  I tried telling myself that there was nothing to worry about. I wasn't doing anything wrong. It wasn't like I was going to upset or irritate anyone. Both places fielded these kinds of calls routinely.
  It didn't work. As much as my head knows that there was nothing to fear, the rest of me was having none of it. I steeled up my courage. Which call was I going to make first?
  I decided to make the appointment first. I looked at the number written on the piece of paper in front of me and was about to dial when I remembered that I was chewing gum. I should probably take it out of my mouth. I don't like when people chew in my ear. I parked my gum on a wrapper and began to dial.
  The phone began to ring on the other end and an irrational thought came into my head. What if I had dialed the wrong number? What if I woke someone up? What if it is a mother who just got her sick  child to sleep and my wrong number call wakes the child up? I mentally shook my head. It was ten- thirty in the morning. It is perfectly acceptable to call someone at this hour. I told myself to calm down.
   The phone continued to ring. I began to feel hopeful. Maybe I would get voice mail. I could certainly leave a message. That wouldn't be so bad. I could do that. My hopes were realized when the voice mail outgoing message began to play. I breathed a little sigh of relief. I had dialed the number correctly. I left my name and number as instructed on the message, making sure to say it slowly and to repeat myself. Then I hung up. Another irrational thought came into my head. What if I left the wrong number? I had left my home number, but I could have mixed up some of the digits. It's possible. I tend to be a little dyslexic when it comes to numbers.
  I took a deep breath. What I would do is check the number I left. In order to access our voicemail you dial the home phone number. I dialed the number and I got our voice mail. I had done it right. Success!
  Now to make the next call. Buoyed by my success with the previous call, I picked up the phone with a little more confidence. My call was answered by a soft spoken woman. I explained who I was and what information I needed. She told me what I needed to know. The only bad part of the call was when I didn't wait for her to finish before asking her another question. As soon as I had done it, I realized that I had been rude and apologized. I do this sometimes, I'm so afraid that I will forget my question or thought that I tend to talk over people. It's a bad habit that I am trying to control.
  The call concluded and I thanked her for her help. I hung the phone up with relief. I had done it. I could mark those two items off my list.
   I sat at the counter and mentally shook my head. I don't know why I was so scared to make those calls. I had spent more time trying to avoid them than it took to just make them and be done with it. Next time just pick up the phone and call.