You'd be Happier If....

   I was surfing through the internet news when I found something that made me stop. The teaser line said something about a way that introverts can be happier. Since I am very much and introvert , I was curious and clicked on the article.
   The article was about how introverts could be happier if they acted like extroverts. I was mad. Thermonuclear mad. I couldn't believe what I was reading. There in front of me was a neatly written article complete with citations of a study done that proved that introverts should act like extroverts in order to be happier. To me the thought of encouraging people to act in a manner contrary to their personality in order to gain happiness is offensive, obscene, abhorrent and wrong.
  A quick explanation is in order. An introvert is someone who is energized by and  works better alone or in small groups. Extroverts are people who are energized by contact with others and tend to find enjoyment in crowds and large gatherings. There was a suggestion in the article that this tendency could be genetic.
  As you can tell I was seriously bugged. I'm bothered anytime I see an article that indirectly belittles those that don't have certain trait or do a certain thing. I once read that women who wear make-up tend to be thought of as more competent and capable. Again I was flabbergasted. There are people out there who truly believe that a woman who puts colored chemicals (or minerals) on her face makes her somehow better than those who don't.
  Personally I think a woman who is comfortable going without makeup has a couple of admirable qualities. She more likely to be comfortable in her own skin and not ashamed of who she is and how she looks.
  There was a fad awhile back about leadership. Everyone should develop leadership abilities. This was the most desirable thing. What can you do to be a leader. You'll be happier, your job performance will be better and everything will run better. There's just one problem that I saw. In order to lead you must have those who follow. No one was touting the benefits of following the leader. Followers are mindless sheep.
  Followers can also make or break a leader though. Being able to step back and take a supporting role is just as important as being out in front. However, that is not seen as the way to success and happiness.
  I was never fond of the theory that you find out what your weaknesses are and then work daily to fix them. To me, it implies that you need to be flawless. It's unrealistic and impossible. I heard a speech once that advocated the theory that you work on your strengths and find ways to use the skills you are good at. It was an epiphany for me. It meant that I shouldn't try to mold myself into something I didn't enjoy and wasn't good at. It was acceptable for me to hone my skills and work on the talents I have and use them.
  The fact is I am a solid introvert. I prefer to collaborate and work better with small groups. I'm not great at organizing things, but am willing and able to pitch in and help once I have a plan to follow. I'm allergic to most make-up and don't wear it. I'm all right with that fact that I'm not thin, blonde, and fashionable. I am happy.
  Happiness is not tied to things. It's tied to attitude. It doesn't matter what you look like or what you do, it is how you feel and perceive it that matters. Changing you appearance, your job, place of residence, etc. will not automatically ensure happiness. (Unless you are getting out of a bad situation.) Changing your attitude is much more helpful.
   The article cited one introvert who talked about he happy he felt after giving large presentations. He admitted that some of this happiness could be relief that it is over. I think the happiness did not come from being different. I think it came from trying it and then going back to being himself.