The Words that We Say and the Things that We Do

  I'm sure you have all heard the Perils of Paula (Deen) lately. For those of you who have somehow missed this, chef Paula Deen admitted to using the N word at some point in time. She has been dropped by the Food Network, where she had a cooking show. She's also been dropped by all of her sponsors and the cookbook she had written that was going to be published this fall has been cancelled by the publisher.
  I'm going to go off topic and rant for a moment. Why is it always called the N word? I have heard a lot of racist terms used by public figures and others and those words are always printed. I never see the S word used instead of spic or slut. I never see the G word used instead of gook. It's always dago, never the D word.
  OK, back to the topic at hand. There were articles and opinions littering the web. People on comment pages were having a field day. There were people saying that she deserved what was happening and some who wondered why rappers can use the word freely and others cannot. Some were saying the use of the word was wrong no matter what. Some didn't care. Other were bemoaning what they saw as the injustice of getting penalized for something so minor from so long ago.
  I was a little confused. The events surrounding Paula Deen didn't seem to make sense if it was just about the use of a derogatory word over a decade ago. There had to be more to this story. I did a little digging and found it. What is going on is that Ms Deen and her brother are being sued by a former employee claiming that their actions created a hostile work environment in the restaurants that they own.
  Now it began to make more sense. Naturally her sponsors and other business partners would wish to distance themselves from someone that is facing this kind of accusation. From a business perspective they had no choice. I'm also sure that many of them would have also done so on general principles. There are just some actions that should not be supported.
   When it comes down to it actions are the the most telling thing. We all say things that later we regret. Most of us are able to get past this. The harder thing to do is to get past actions that we regret. Forgiving a person for a remark that hurts is much easier, most of the time, then forgiving an act that hurts.
   I find it interesting that society seems to be very concerned with "politically correct" speech but is not so concerned with actions. I saw a clip on the Internet of actor Levar Burton explaining what he does when he is pulled over by law enforcement. He takes off his hat and sunglasses and then rolls down his window and puts his hands outside the car to show the officer that he is unarmed. His experience has taught him that this is the best way to handle the situation. While society is careful of racist speech, racist actions are still abundant.
  I can remember in the mid 1990s having to deal with sexism. I had a coworker who insisted on addressing me as "young lady". I had an orthopedic physician ask me when women were "allowed" to become pharmacists. I had a customer hit on me. It was clear that none of these men could see me as a professional. All they saw was a woman.
  For all that our society claims to be accepting and tolerant we don't seem to act that way sometimes. We laugh at the contestants on the American Idol audition shows. We watch the antics of families on "Sister Wives", "19 Kids and Counting", "Duck Dynasty" and "Keeping up with the Kardashians" while inwardly congratulating ourselves on the fact that we are not as tacky and tasteless as they are. We laugh at characters like Dieter from Saturday Night Live and movies like The Hangover, Talladega Nights and Anchorman which make bad behaviour and stereotypes funny and therefore acceptable. All this while urging political correctness.
  It is time that society started putting it's money where it's mouth is. We claim to be a land of tolerance and equality. It's time that we started acting like one as well.