The Ripple Effect

   The first column I ever wrote was on Memorial Day 2008. I no longer have a copy of the column,but I remember why I wrote it. Some general or other military official had made a remark about how civilians don't care and don't understand since they themselves have not  had to make any kind of sacrifice during the recent military action.
  I took exception to this. I live with someone who has sacrificed because of war. His name is C and he's my husband. His father, Mr. Warren, fought in Europe during World War II. In that column I wrote about how that war profoundly effected my husband even though he had not stepped on the battlefield himself and in fact was born roughly five years after the war ended.
  The damage of war has a ripple effect. The worst damage, naturally,is to the places and the people who fought and killed. This is obvious.
  What isn't obvious is that like the stone dropped in the water the ripples spread out and affect a much larger area. The soldiers return home,not as God made them but as war left them(to use the phrase from Bob Schieffer). Sometimes they are able to adjust and to lead a good life. Some are not so lucky.
   Post traumatic stress disorder was unknown when my father-in-law returned from World War II. Whatever dreams or plans he might have had were now changed or gone. He went through a period of heavy drinking and abusive behaviour. Eventually his wife left him, unable to cope with the person he had become. She left him with four children to care for.
  He moved from place to place working at cotton mills fixing the looms. He made enough money to support himself,but was unable to cope with his memories or with raising his children. His mother came to live with him for a few years to try to help, but eventually moved in with another one of her children. Mr. Warren continued his gypsy lifestyle with the two boys tagging along.
  He eventually stopped drinking and was less violent, but the damage was done. The two daughters he had before the war married  in their late teens in order to escape the chaos of the family. The youngest boy had fallen in with a bad crowd. The older boy was trying to do better. He excelled in sports,was finishing high school and planned to go to college.
   The ripples didn't stop. The marriages of the daughters failed. The younger boy died in a car wreck leaving behind a young daughter. The older boy had graduated from a two year college and was attending another college to get a bachelor's degree, but was unsure of what to do with his life and unhappy. He decided to leave South Carolina and start over.
  He moved north. He found work and began to make a life for himself here. He married and had children. The ripples continued. He did his best to be a good parent. He loved his children and took care of them. He wanted to be a better parent than the ones he had. It was hard. He had to work, sometimes two jobs to support his family. His marriage was not good and he was fighting to keep a lid on all the bad parts of his younger years.
   Eventually the marriage ended and he had to start over. He was able to get help and finally deal with his past.
   The ripple effect continued with his children though. They also had to deal with the effects of divorce and acrimony between their parents. Some of them got into trouble in their teen years. Most of them are now living stable lives. The ripples are there, but much smaller.
  This is the point of the story. What would have happened if treatment for returning soldiers was available back then? Could this ripple effect have been blunted? Two generations have been affected by war. They are the secondary casualties.
  We now know what war can do to people. We need to do all that we can to provide support for those that fight. It's costly. Consider however the cost of not doing anything or not doing enough. It isn't just the soldier or their immediate family that is affected. The ripples affect several generations. They affect wives, friends colleagues at work and the community as a whole.
  We can't stop the ripples, but we can blunt the effects and minimize some of the damage that war causes off the battle field.

For Mr. Warren, you are missed. You are loved.