Name Change

   Unless you were in a coma or under a rock the past few days,you probably know that Katie Holmes has filed for divorce from Tom Cruise. I'm embarrassed to admit that even though I'm not a big fan of either of them, I keep reading the articles on the Internet about them.
  I've read about the the speculation that Mr. Cruise's religion might have caused the split, that fact that Ms Holmes is going about town without her wedding ring and that Mr. Cruise turned 50 years old recently. I've read a bit about certain Scientology practices and read comments on whether Scientology is a religion or a cult. I've read that all Tom Cruise's wives divorced him when they turned 33.
  There was one article that got the wheels in my head spinning. The article talked about how Tom Cruise started referring to his then girlfriend as "Kate" rather than "Katie" which is the name that she commonly uses. Cruise was quoted as saying, "Katie is a young girl's name. Her name is Kate now-she's a child bearing woman." (She was pregnant at the time.) Obviously he must not have heard of Katie Couric who is much older and still is "Katie". Sexist tone aside I can sort of see what he means. They have a 17 year age gap, perhaps he doesn't want to emphasize it. Still, I think a name change of that sort ought to be her choice, not his. Mr. Cruise seems to be the only one using that name though, as I've never seen Ms Holmes referred to as anything but "Katie".
   I started thinking about people I know who have changed their names when they started a new phase or part of their life. It's actually pretty common. Women do this all the time when they marry or divorce. Names are very personal, it's a basic form of identity.
  When C was in high school and college he was given the nickname "Chico". He told me how he got the name, but I can't remember it at the moment. It is all over his high school year books. One time he was mentioned in local newspaper (he was a high school football star), he was called "Chico". One of his aunts took exception to this and asked C who is Chico, because they had given him a proper name. When C decided to move away from South Carolina, he wanted to start over again. He packed up his 1969 VW Bug with all his possessions and drove north, leaving the name Chico behind. From that time on he was C.
  I knew a woman in pharmacy school who did the same thing. I got to know her pretty well. She went to school in North Dakota so that she could start over too. She was from a small town and felt that her only identity was as someone's sister or someone's daughter. In addition she had long name that was shortened to a  name she didn't like and she was often teased about it. One of the first things that she did once she moved into the dorm was to remove the name tag from her door that had her name on it and replace it with one that had her initials instead.
  I remember going on rounds with her when we were doing an internship at the Fargo VA. The pharmacist that was with us on rounds called her by the short version of her first name which was "Kay". She looked him in the eye and said, "C". He thought she was being smart. (He thought she was saying "Si" the Spanish word for yes.) In fact she was trying to correct him. She prefers to be called "KC". I think he got the message.
   When I was younger I thought about changing my name. Sophie isn't too bad, but "Sophia" sounds so much more elegant and a bit exotic. I thought about changing my last name too. "Story" is a pretty bland last name. I wanted something more fun, more dramatic, more interesting, more Italian. One of the names in my mother's family is Montefusco. I always thought that Sophia Montefusco sounded really nice. It's fun to say.
   I eventually decided not to do it. A name change is too much work. When you get to a certain age you learn to accept things. In my case I'm not going to be thinner, more athletic or taller. I also have learned to accept that I'm Sophie Story, a real person, and not Sophia Montefusco a mythical creature that I wish I could be. I'm all right with that.