A Good Try
Several months ago someone from church suggested that I play the dulcimer at one of the Sunday meetings. I was a little surprised. While I think the dulcimer has a lovely sound, I didn't think anyone else knew what one sounded like. C and I picked out a few hymns to learn.
I played a little over a week ago. C and I decided that I should play the before and after meeting music on the dulcimer and the lap harp. That worked for me, I wasn't quite ready to take a solo position and there are many professional quality musicians in the ward who would do a much better job.
I'd like to say that I did a great job, but my performance left a bit to be desired. A few kind souls did compliment me and I accepted those compliments graciously. They were being kind and I knew they were being kind. Those compliments were undeserved.
I was disappointed. What went wrong? It wasn't lack of practice. I practiced as much as I could, but then there is no such thing as too much practice. I had all my music, my stand, my hammers, a chair and a stool because I was playing the harp. It wasn't that I wasn't prepared. I was.
The problem was that I was nervous. You'd think that after all the speech contests, dance recitals, orchestra concerts, solo and small ensemble contests I've been in that I wouldn't get nervous. I was confident and had played all of my pieces several times without mistakes.
My head was confident. My hands were another matter. That was something I didn't take into account. While I might be able to fake confidence, my hands tend to give me away. This is due to a little genetic gift I got from my Dad. It's called benign essential tremor. It means that my hands shake all the time. Most of the time it's not noticeable and it doesn't interfere with what I'm doing.
There are things that make the tremors worse. Caffeine, cold, hunger and stress are some of the things that worsen the tremor. I can pretend that I've got it all together, but my hands aren't buying the act.
So....what do I do? I can decide not to play in public again. That would be the easiest thing to do. No one would blame me. A few people would be grateful. If you can't do it well don't do it at all, right? Or...I could take a different attitude. It was a good try and the next time will be better. When you are thrown off the horse, you need to get back on and try again. Don't give up.
I'm starting to practice Christmas music. Can you guess what I've decided to do?
I had a good run today. I plan to practice the harp a little when I get off work tonight.
I played a little over a week ago. C and I decided that I should play the before and after meeting music on the dulcimer and the lap harp. That worked for me, I wasn't quite ready to take a solo position and there are many professional quality musicians in the ward who would do a much better job.
I'd like to say that I did a great job, but my performance left a bit to be desired. A few kind souls did compliment me and I accepted those compliments graciously. They were being kind and I knew they were being kind. Those compliments were undeserved.
I was disappointed. What went wrong? It wasn't lack of practice. I practiced as much as I could, but then there is no such thing as too much practice. I had all my music, my stand, my hammers, a chair and a stool because I was playing the harp. It wasn't that I wasn't prepared. I was.
The problem was that I was nervous. You'd think that after all the speech contests, dance recitals, orchestra concerts, solo and small ensemble contests I've been in that I wouldn't get nervous. I was confident and had played all of my pieces several times without mistakes.
My head was confident. My hands were another matter. That was something I didn't take into account. While I might be able to fake confidence, my hands tend to give me away. This is due to a little genetic gift I got from my Dad. It's called benign essential tremor. It means that my hands shake all the time. Most of the time it's not noticeable and it doesn't interfere with what I'm doing.
There are things that make the tremors worse. Caffeine, cold, hunger and stress are some of the things that worsen the tremor. I can pretend that I've got it all together, but my hands aren't buying the act.
So....what do I do? I can decide not to play in public again. That would be the easiest thing to do. No one would blame me. A few people would be grateful. If you can't do it well don't do it at all, right? Or...I could take a different attitude. It was a good try and the next time will be better. When you are thrown off the horse, you need to get back on and try again. Don't give up.
I'm starting to practice Christmas music. Can you guess what I've decided to do?
I had a good run today. I plan to practice the harp a little when I get off work tonight.
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