Evil Twin
Have you ever had one of those times where you do something and then wonder why you did it? This week I had two bouts of very unSophielike behaviour that had me wondering what the heck was going on. I have reached the conclusion that I might have an evil twin. It's the only way I can explain it.
The first incident happened Wednesday. I was nearing the end of the Wednesday 12 hour shift and was working with my intern and a tech. The tech and I usually get along well, but today we were getting on each other's nerves. She said something that I thought was a little out of line and followed it up with a smart remark. Normally I would have let this go as it is just the way she is, but I didn't like that she was doing this in front of the intern. The smart thing to do would have been to take her aside and explain to her that she needed to be a bit more careful about what she said.
Instead, I chose to stew about it. While I was stewing I was trying to get some work done and was having little success. I had been trying to check a prescription for the last 20 minutes and still hadn't completed the process. The tech asked me to help a customer. I did, but told her that I needed to get MY work done. After I had finished, the tech thanked me for helping the customer in what to me was a sarcastic tone of voice.
That's when the evil twin showed up. I had had enough. I told the tech to go home and that if that was the kind of attitude she was going to have for the next hour she could leave. The tech promptly shut up.
I started to feel really, really bad. I knew this was the wrong way to handle this and the fact that I did it in front of the intern was inexcusable. Even if the intern had not been there it was still a tremendous breach of self control.
After I calmed down a bit, I told the intern that I had just given her the perfect bad example. When having trouble with a coworker what I just did was not the right way to handle it. I gave the intern something to do, went over to the tech and apologised. The tech accepted my apology. Later after the intern went home I explained to the tech that while I don't mind her expressing an opinion about any subject I would prefer she be a bit more aware of what she says in front of the intern. She got the point and we closed up the pharmacy for the night.
I was still mad at myself and flustered the next morning when I rushed in to the Toastmasters meeting late. There were just a few moments before the meeting started and someone was sitting in my usual spot in the back of the room. In fact the only seats available were in the front.
Muttering about how I was not going to sit in the front of the room, I grabbed a chair from the front and dragged it next to one of the back tables. I could have kept my mouth shut. I could have just calmly sat up front. Instead I made a small scene and embarrassed myself.
What the heck was wrong with me anyway? Who was this person and how can I get rid of her?
I thought about what happened at Toastmasters as I drove home. I remembered why I like to sit in the back. One thing that people used to do to tease me was to sneak up on me and startle me. It was almost a game. Let's see how high we can make Sophie jump. (I tend to startle easily, especially if I'm concentrating on something.) As a result I prefer to sit where there are little or no people behind me.
I started to feel a little better. I wasn't turning into some kind of horrible person. I had just mishandled two situations. What I needed to do was learn from them and move on.
In case I do have an evil twin, next time I see her I will tell her to go away. She causes too much trouble....
The first incident happened Wednesday. I was nearing the end of the Wednesday 12 hour shift and was working with my intern and a tech. The tech and I usually get along well, but today we were getting on each other's nerves. She said something that I thought was a little out of line and followed it up with a smart remark. Normally I would have let this go as it is just the way she is, but I didn't like that she was doing this in front of the intern. The smart thing to do would have been to take her aside and explain to her that she needed to be a bit more careful about what she said.
Instead, I chose to stew about it. While I was stewing I was trying to get some work done and was having little success. I had been trying to check a prescription for the last 20 minutes and still hadn't completed the process. The tech asked me to help a customer. I did, but told her that I needed to get MY work done. After I had finished, the tech thanked me for helping the customer in what to me was a sarcastic tone of voice.
That's when the evil twin showed up. I had had enough. I told the tech to go home and that if that was the kind of attitude she was going to have for the next hour she could leave. The tech promptly shut up.
I started to feel really, really bad. I knew this was the wrong way to handle this and the fact that I did it in front of the intern was inexcusable. Even if the intern had not been there it was still a tremendous breach of self control.
After I calmed down a bit, I told the intern that I had just given her the perfect bad example. When having trouble with a coworker what I just did was not the right way to handle it. I gave the intern something to do, went over to the tech and apologised. The tech accepted my apology. Later after the intern went home I explained to the tech that while I don't mind her expressing an opinion about any subject I would prefer she be a bit more aware of what she says in front of the intern. She got the point and we closed up the pharmacy for the night.
I was still mad at myself and flustered the next morning when I rushed in to the Toastmasters meeting late. There were just a few moments before the meeting started and someone was sitting in my usual spot in the back of the room. In fact the only seats available were in the front.
Muttering about how I was not going to sit in the front of the room, I grabbed a chair from the front and dragged it next to one of the back tables. I could have kept my mouth shut. I could have just calmly sat up front. Instead I made a small scene and embarrassed myself.
What the heck was wrong with me anyway? Who was this person and how can I get rid of her?
I thought about what happened at Toastmasters as I drove home. I remembered why I like to sit in the back. One thing that people used to do to tease me was to sneak up on me and startle me. It was almost a game. Let's see how high we can make Sophie jump. (I tend to startle easily, especially if I'm concentrating on something.) As a result I prefer to sit where there are little or no people behind me.
I started to feel a little better. I wasn't turning into some kind of horrible person. I had just mishandled two situations. What I needed to do was learn from them and move on.
In case I do have an evil twin, next time I see her I will tell her to go away. She causes too much trouble....
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