Stones
I was told a story about my grandmother when I was young. Grandma said she wouldn't marry Edward even if he was the last man on earth. Her mother chided her saying,"The stone you throw the farthest always comes back to you." By which she meant that you shouldn't say things like that for you may have to do them. Grandma did marry Edward despite the fact that he wasn't the last man on earth. This is fortunate otherwise I wouldn't be here to write this.
I gave a speech at Toastmasters seven years ago on the topic of things I said I would never do and then did anyway. Last week I gave an updated version of the speech.
In the evaluations I received someone remarked that I could write a book on the subject and each story could be a chapter. I thought I'd share a couple of them with you.
Stone One I will never sing in public.
I have heard the recorded sound of my voice. It's pretty awful. While I have a decent, some would say pleasant, speaking voice, my singing voice sounds like a moose with a head cold. Not pretty. I like to sing, but confine my singing to my house and my car.
C doesn't share my opinion of my voice. He thinks it's all right. When we were dating I played a song that I like, one that I sing when I'm alone. He made a bet with me. If he learned to play the song on the guitar, I would sing it with him in public. I took that bet. After all he wouldn't learn the song, it was not by any artist that he liked and I doubted he could find sheet music or tab for the song.
I forgot two things about C. He can't read music and learns all his songs by ear. The other is that I had made a mix tape of love songs as a Valentine's Day gift and the song was on it. He learned the song which meant that I had to uphold my part of the bet and sing in public. I sang it at a coffeehouse to a bunch of Christian singles on a group date. While I don't mind singing in front of people I know I don't sing in public anymore. Not even at church.
Stone Number Two I will never move to a big city.
I have always lived in small towns except when I went to college, but Fargo is small city not a big one and I mostly stayed near campus. Big cities were dirty crowded unhappy places with high crime and constant traffic jams. Big cities are always noisy and the people there are mean and unfriendly. Everyone shuts themselves up at night and gangs and thugs roam the streets looking for victims. I didn't want to live like that.
C and I sold our house in small town Wisconsin and were living in a village, an honest to god village, just outside the Twin Cities metro. It was small,quiet and safe. I could have lived there and been happy. Unfortunately, there were no houses for sale. Even if there were, most of them would need extensive repairs inside and out.
We were working with a realtor who had sent us a list of houses. One by one we eliminated them for various reasons. There was on one the list that looked just about perfect. There was just one problem. It was in St. Paul. St. Paul is a big city. I didn't want to live in a big city.
C convinced me to at least take a look at the house. It wasn't in downtown St. Paul and was in a decent area. He thought we should at least look at it. So we went to an open house.
It was perfect. Small enough to take care of and large enough for guests. It has a big deck outside and enough yard for grandchildren to play in. There is a park nearby, a golf course around the corner and is less than three miles from my job. It has a large basement store room, a downstairs family room and a good sized kitchen. There is even a sauna and a small finished bathroom downstairs.
We could hardly hide our excitement. The next day we called the realtor to start the process of putting down an offer before anyone else did. I wanted that house. We got it and moved in just before my birthday.
We like living here a lot. St Paul is a large city and it does have some crime and traffic, but it also has parks and bike trails. It is safe for me to run in the morning and 15 minutes away from almost anywhere we want to go. We can take a train into Minneapolis and walk around the city and eat out at all kinds of places. There's good medical care for the humans and good veterinary care for the cats. This is perfect for us.
So those are a few of the avalanche of stones I tossed out over my life that came back to me. I try not to say such things anymore and feel I'm doing better as I get older. Since it's a problem I can't seem to completely eliminate I've learned to sit back and see what happens. Some of the rocks turn out to preety nice.
I gave a speech at Toastmasters seven years ago on the topic of things I said I would never do and then did anyway. Last week I gave an updated version of the speech.
In the evaluations I received someone remarked that I could write a book on the subject and each story could be a chapter. I thought I'd share a couple of them with you.
Stone One I will never sing in public.
I have heard the recorded sound of my voice. It's pretty awful. While I have a decent, some would say pleasant, speaking voice, my singing voice sounds like a moose with a head cold. Not pretty. I like to sing, but confine my singing to my house and my car.
C doesn't share my opinion of my voice. He thinks it's all right. When we were dating I played a song that I like, one that I sing when I'm alone. He made a bet with me. If he learned to play the song on the guitar, I would sing it with him in public. I took that bet. After all he wouldn't learn the song, it was not by any artist that he liked and I doubted he could find sheet music or tab for the song.
I forgot two things about C. He can't read music and learns all his songs by ear. The other is that I had made a mix tape of love songs as a Valentine's Day gift and the song was on it. He learned the song which meant that I had to uphold my part of the bet and sing in public. I sang it at a coffeehouse to a bunch of Christian singles on a group date. While I don't mind singing in front of people I know I don't sing in public anymore. Not even at church.
Stone Number Two I will never move to a big city.
I have always lived in small towns except when I went to college, but Fargo is small city not a big one and I mostly stayed near campus. Big cities were dirty crowded unhappy places with high crime and constant traffic jams. Big cities are always noisy and the people there are mean and unfriendly. Everyone shuts themselves up at night and gangs and thugs roam the streets looking for victims. I didn't want to live like that.
C and I sold our house in small town Wisconsin and were living in a village, an honest to god village, just outside the Twin Cities metro. It was small,quiet and safe. I could have lived there and been happy. Unfortunately, there were no houses for sale. Even if there were, most of them would need extensive repairs inside and out.
We were working with a realtor who had sent us a list of houses. One by one we eliminated them for various reasons. There was on one the list that looked just about perfect. There was just one problem. It was in St. Paul. St. Paul is a big city. I didn't want to live in a big city.
C convinced me to at least take a look at the house. It wasn't in downtown St. Paul and was in a decent area. He thought we should at least look at it. So we went to an open house.
It was perfect. Small enough to take care of and large enough for guests. It has a big deck outside and enough yard for grandchildren to play in. There is a park nearby, a golf course around the corner and is less than three miles from my job. It has a large basement store room, a downstairs family room and a good sized kitchen. There is even a sauna and a small finished bathroom downstairs.
We could hardly hide our excitement. The next day we called the realtor to start the process of putting down an offer before anyone else did. I wanted that house. We got it and moved in just before my birthday.
We like living here a lot. St Paul is a large city and it does have some crime and traffic, but it also has parks and bike trails. It is safe for me to run in the morning and 15 minutes away from almost anywhere we want to go. We can take a train into Minneapolis and walk around the city and eat out at all kinds of places. There's good medical care for the humans and good veterinary care for the cats. This is perfect for us.
So those are a few of the avalanche of stones I tossed out over my life that came back to me. I try not to say such things anymore and feel I'm doing better as I get older. Since it's a problem I can't seem to completely eliminate I've learned to sit back and see what happens. Some of the rocks turn out to preety nice.
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