Humiliation
I did decide to enter the area speech contest. Since no one else volunteered, I decided why not. It's been awhile and it could be fun.
The area that we are in has four clubs in it counting mine. Two of them are less active and the other two are quite active. (Mine is one of the active clubs.) Last year's fall speech contest had fewer contestants because of this. I knew that. At most there would be one maybe two other people competing against me. One of them would be from the other active club and that club is very good. I hoped to place at least second.
When the contest program came out there was another person competing besides me. That's all right. I knew obtaining a second place finish would be no problem. The final program was sent to me yesterday afternoon with both names still on it. A third person would have been nice, but that is all right.
Before the contest starts the contestants have a meeting to go over the rules and format. The other person had not shown up. We drew for order with the Sergeant at Arms drawing for the other person. I drew the low number and had to speak first. I waited for the other person to show up. By six o'clock it was clear that she wasn't coming. There would only be one Tall Tale speaker. Me.
Toastmaster rules dictate that the show must go on. Despite the fact that I had no competition I would have to give my speech anyway to qualify for the division contest next week. If I did not disqualify I would move on.
I gave my speech. I talked a bit too fast, stumbled over some of the words and panicked as I thought I might disqualify for going under time. It was not a stellar performance, but it was adequate. People laughed and I met the required time limits.
The next contest was International speech. My friend Patricia did a masterful job, but went over time. At least she had someone to compete against.
While the judges votes were being counted we were interviewed. I had a good time with that. I wished that the contest would end there and we could all go home. There was one thing left to do though. The awards had to be handed out.
All the people who had helped with the contest were recognized. I knew the trophies were coming next. I was hoping that they would not hand out the trophy for Tall Tales. It made me sick to know that they were going to treat this as if I'd actually won on the merits of the speech. I wanted them to skip to the International Speech contest winner and leave it at that.
My wish was not granted. They called my name as the first place winner and I walked up, collected my trophy and certificate and shook hands with the division and area governors. I went back to my seat and applauded the winner of the other contest. I posed for the required pictures with my trophy. I accepted gracefully the congratulations of any who offered them.
Inside I wanted to run away. I was so embarrassed. I could have given the worst speech in the world and still got this treatment. I didn't win this honestly and I was being treated as if I had. Truly Humiliating.
Since I had announced on Facebook that I was entering this contest people would be looking for a post from me on the results. I posted "I won. (by default)". I wanted to make it very very clear that I didn't win by beating someone else. It was a lonely victory completely without honor.
I didn't want to face the club the following morning and have to accept the congratulations from people who weren't there to see and didn't know what had happened. I complained to C about this and he said, "It was a good speech. You would have won anyway. Hold your head up and be proud." Charming thought, but I was unable to take it to heart. I was still angry and embarrassed.
In the interests of honesty I made it clear that I won by default hopefully sounding less bitter than I felt. While I am proud to represent my club and area at the division contest, I would have preferred that it be by more honest means.
Since my coworkers know about the contest I'll have to tell them the results too. I told Patricia that I was not looking forward to talking about it. She suggested that I leave out the part about the other party not showing up. I can't do that. That's lying by omission.
When I go to work this afternoon, I'll bring my trophy as promised but I will make some sort of joke about the rewards of showing up.
Then I will turn my attention to the next step, division contest.
The area that we are in has four clubs in it counting mine. Two of them are less active and the other two are quite active. (Mine is one of the active clubs.) Last year's fall speech contest had fewer contestants because of this. I knew that. At most there would be one maybe two other people competing against me. One of them would be from the other active club and that club is very good. I hoped to place at least second.
When the contest program came out there was another person competing besides me. That's all right. I knew obtaining a second place finish would be no problem. The final program was sent to me yesterday afternoon with both names still on it. A third person would have been nice, but that is all right.
Before the contest starts the contestants have a meeting to go over the rules and format. The other person had not shown up. We drew for order with the Sergeant at Arms drawing for the other person. I drew the low number and had to speak first. I waited for the other person to show up. By six o'clock it was clear that she wasn't coming. There would only be one Tall Tale speaker. Me.
Toastmaster rules dictate that the show must go on. Despite the fact that I had no competition I would have to give my speech anyway to qualify for the division contest next week. If I did not disqualify I would move on.
I gave my speech. I talked a bit too fast, stumbled over some of the words and panicked as I thought I might disqualify for going under time. It was not a stellar performance, but it was adequate. People laughed and I met the required time limits.
The next contest was International speech. My friend Patricia did a masterful job, but went over time. At least she had someone to compete against.
While the judges votes were being counted we were interviewed. I had a good time with that. I wished that the contest would end there and we could all go home. There was one thing left to do though. The awards had to be handed out.
All the people who had helped with the contest were recognized. I knew the trophies were coming next. I was hoping that they would not hand out the trophy for Tall Tales. It made me sick to know that they were going to treat this as if I'd actually won on the merits of the speech. I wanted them to skip to the International Speech contest winner and leave it at that.
My wish was not granted. They called my name as the first place winner and I walked up, collected my trophy and certificate and shook hands with the division and area governors. I went back to my seat and applauded the winner of the other contest. I posed for the required pictures with my trophy. I accepted gracefully the congratulations of any who offered them.
Inside I wanted to run away. I was so embarrassed. I could have given the worst speech in the world and still got this treatment. I didn't win this honestly and I was being treated as if I had. Truly Humiliating.
Since I had announced on Facebook that I was entering this contest people would be looking for a post from me on the results. I posted "I won. (by default)". I wanted to make it very very clear that I didn't win by beating someone else. It was a lonely victory completely without honor.
I didn't want to face the club the following morning and have to accept the congratulations from people who weren't there to see and didn't know what had happened. I complained to C about this and he said, "It was a good speech. You would have won anyway. Hold your head up and be proud." Charming thought, but I was unable to take it to heart. I was still angry and embarrassed.
In the interests of honesty I made it clear that I won by default hopefully sounding less bitter than I felt. While I am proud to represent my club and area at the division contest, I would have preferred that it be by more honest means.
Since my coworkers know about the contest I'll have to tell them the results too. I told Patricia that I was not looking forward to talking about it. She suggested that I leave out the part about the other party not showing up. I can't do that. That's lying by omission.
When I go to work this afternoon, I'll bring my trophy as promised but I will make some sort of joke about the rewards of showing up.
Then I will turn my attention to the next step, division contest.
KC;
ReplyDeleteIt is alright to feel crestfallen, but bitter is too strong a word to use for what happened. Besides your speech probably would have won since the other person was probably too scared to show up. It is reasonable to assume that if they won't show up then they probably think that their speech is too horrible to win anyway.