20 Years

 

   Twenty years ago today, I dressed in the most expensive dress I will ever own, had my hair, make up and nails done then walked into the garden of a historical house to take some pre wedding pictures.

    Less than an hour later, I went from being a single woman with two cats to being a married woman with two cats, five stepchildren and a granddaughter.

   At the demand of my mother, we were married in a Lutheran church in the traditional ceremony. I had banned any wedding march music and 1 Corinthians 13. We had a vase with with six lavender roses to honor close family members who had died. The processional was an instrumental piece from a movie. The organist had to learn it from a CD I had since there was no sheet music for it. I was not given away, I did not promise to obey and the words "til death do you part" were not uttered at all. C wrote a song that he sang during the ceremony. We walked up the aisle to "Now Thank We all Our God"

   I wiped away a few tears of relief before forming the receiving line at the church. The wedding planning had been very stressful even though I used many of the same vendors my sister had three years prior. I was so glad the wedding was over. I looked forward to greeting all those who attended. I was in such a good mood that I managed to stay calm when the mother of one of C's coworkers at the coffeeshop he worked at came through the line slightly inebriated and with two of her children. (I had an adults only wedding and she was not invited.)

   Our wedding reception was a five course dinner with matching wines at a local Italian restaurant. Our wedding guest list was very small so it made no sense to have a traditional reception and dance. One of my cousins had a wedding dinner as opposed to a reception and I liked the idea. I later found out that a wedding dinner is a traditional Italian custom. It turned out to be a hit and everyone had a good time. Between courses C and I were able to mingle a bit. I was welcomed into C's family with a toast given by his sister's husband. My Dad spoke as well as my sister. I also gave a toast that I had practiced at Toastmasters a few days before. 

   After the dinner we cut the cake and everyone had some. We said good bye to C's Dad who had come from South Carolina with his sister and her husband for the wedding. We were glad that they had attended.  Then we got into my car and drove to Stillwater where we stopped at the coffeeshop to greet those who were working that day. We walked along the river dressed in our wedding clothes accepting the well wishes of those who walked past. (I later found out that newly married couples walking through town in their wedding attire is a German custom.) The only bad part was that I lost the pfennig that my Dad gave me to put in my shoe for good luck. I should have taped it to the shoe.

   We spent our wedding night at a bed and breakfast across from the church. We wanted something special since we would not be taking a honeymoon until October.

   One year later we ate the cake top which was still pretty good. 

   We've been through a lot in twenty years, some of it detailed in this column. There have been more good times than bad. In the bad times we have had each other to learn on. I couldn't ask for a better life partner than C.