The Humans Need Discipline

 

  Hi! This is Skamp!

 As many of you already know, a few weeks ago my humans thoughtlessly went on vacation for a week. I was  not consulted about this and if I had been I would have strongly advised them not to go. Not because I'm afraid of them getting this virus thing that all the humans seem to be concerned with, but because I was left alone. I really don't think it was very nice of them to do this to me.

   I'm very disappointed in them. I thought I'd trained them better than this. Colby and I spent a lot of time properly training our humans. I know some setbacks are inevitable, but this is inexcusable. It's not like this is something minor like forgetting a grooming session or serving a meal late. In their defense, they did have June, the cat sitter, come in to feed me and clean my litterbox. Sometimes she brings toys. However my routine was interrupted. Not acceptable.

   I had to figure out some form of punishment for the humans. I peed outside the litterbox. I peed in a plastic container in the dining room. That will fix them. Then I realized something. The humans don't get upset when I pee in those containers. They are always empty. All the humans do is clean them when they are soiled. Clearly this wasn't a good punishment. I had to find something else.

  Suddenly it hit me. I'll pee on the floor pillow. Sophie likes to sit on the floor pillow. She also likes to groom me there. She had put a couple of nice blankets on it. I guess she thought it would make me not be upset about being deserted. This would show them that they were in trouble. I peed on the blankets and then covered up the pee so that June would not see it.

  I was happy to see the humans when they got home. I know I should have acted upset and angry, but I couldn't. Sophie noticed that the blanket on the floor pillow was folded and checked it out. She saw the pee. She took the blankets downstairs for washing right away, saying that she could clean them. Then she came back up and sniffed at the cover to the floor pillow. It smelled like pee. She took the cover off and smelled the pillow itself. It smelled. She was very upset as she carried the pillow to the garbage. It could not be cleaned. Good, she deserved it. C was not too upset. He understood.

  They let me come into the bedroom that night. I liked that. The next night they shut the door so I couldn't go in. I peed in the plastic container. I know it isn't much punishment, but Sophie had to clean it in the morning. I didn't think that I had punished them quite enough, Desertion is serious.

  I peed on some papers in the kitchen. The papers are in a corner away from where food is. I would never pee where there is food. That's gross. When C discovered it he cleaned it up. Then he smeared some smelly stuff on the counter. A bunch of papers had to be thrown away. The corner needed to be cleaned anyway so I did something good. 

   For the past week, I have not peed outside the litterbox. I believe that the humans have been duly punished and anything else would be counter productive. Also I'm getting extra treats and grooming sessions. Things are getting back to normal.

   Time for my nap.